The Bystander
by coveryoureyes
Summary: Suzanne was just minding her own business at the local diner when the dark haired stranger sat down at her booth and spilled his guts. - "She felt strangely protective of the vampire that had inserted himself into her life. Maybe it was the cliché tragic back story or their matching love of leather jackets, but Suzanne was going to see where this friendship took her."
1. Chapter 1

"I've got to say, that sounds pretty lame."

The dark haired man facing her from the other side of the booth took on an expression of mocking amusement.

"Brave words from the human. Your running commentary hasn't been appreciated, by the way."

Suzanne leaned forward and let her elbows rest on the table top, drumming her fingers against its surface while considering her next words. She was in an entirely bizarre situation at the moment. All she'd wanted was a cup of coffee at her favorite late night diner. The man – Damon, he'd said his name was – throwing himself into her booth was unexpected. Him hypnotizing her into listening to his problems was even more unexpected.

"Not exactly. Your freaky eye contact thing took away my fear. Besides, you wanted someone to complain to and now I've been vampire powered into confidentiality. Might as well be your sounding board and tell you when I think your ideas are subpar."

Damon let out a laugh that wasn't quite so condescending as before and waved his hand in her direction before saying in a bored tone, "Go ahead, princess. Lay it on me."

A little annoyed, she allowed some bite to enter her voice when she said, "It's Suzanne. And all I'm saying is I think you ought to make your entrance with some more subtlety. You're going back to your hometown in a few months to torment your brother, who is probably going to insert himself into the life of the clone of the vampire woman who both of you dated, right?"

"Right."

"So _torment_ him. You can't just swoop in and kill the clone or her family. It's the suspense that will get him all hot and bothered. Make it obvious that you could and would wreak havoc, rampage, etcetera, but don't do anything too villainy right away."

Damon leaned back and seemed to be contemplating her response. Letting out a considering hum, he swiped her coffee mug faster than she could see and took a long gulp. Suzanne's mouth fell open, partially in awe of the display of speed, but mostly in offense.

"Dick move."

"I could snap your neck in a second. Or I could just drain you. I'd be really nice to me right now."

Suzanne only snorted in response. The vampire had just ranted about his plans for nearly half an hour. Clearly he was in need of friends, and she was apparently the next best thing. She wasn't scared either way – didn't have that emotion available at the moment, but he _probably_ wasn't going to kill her.

Probably.

In a jokingly upbeat tone she said, "One, I have severe anemia, so I'm probably not as gourmet as you're used to. And two, I took a karate class once with my ex girlfriend, so I'm confident I could take you on."

The vampire laughed and proceeded to finish off her coffee – something she was still mildly pissed about – before sighing dramatically and saying, "Girlfriend, huh? And here I was planning on seducing you. I could rock your world."

Suzanne pressed the back of her hand to her forehead and exaggeratedly swooned before responding, "Oh, if only. And I'm bisexual, not lesbian. But regardless, I have no desire to enter any kind of relationship, even a purely sexual one, so forever we shall pine for one another." Becoming serious, she said in a scolding tone, "And using your hypnosis would be entirely ineffective consent on my part, so –"

Damon cut her off and responded equally seriously as he said, "Not on my agenda. Compelling away fear, yes. Making it impossible for girls to blab or making them forget, yes. But I don't compel girls to sleep with me. They make the initial decision on their own."

"Alright then. And I really would prefer being left alive. I have a Dalmatian at home and there would be nobody to feed him."

Damon nodded seemingly to himself before saying, "I like you. I'll keep you around."

"How magnanimous of you."

"Enough about _me_ , princess. Tell me something interesting about you. And not by human standards. I've been alive for a long time. Wow me with fun facts and personal records."

Suzanne laughed before going quiet. Her life wasn't incredibly interesting at the moment. She loved her job as a hospital receptionist, but it didn't exactly scream _excitement_. After a minute she finally made eye contact once again before saying, "I went to circus camp for a few summers as a teenager and can walk a professional tightrope. My personal record is fifty feet long."

Damon barked out a short laugh and let out an impressed whistle before he replied, "Unexpected. I'm going to one up you. My personal record: I once drank seven bottles of bourbon in three hours. Pretty sure I died of alcohol poisoning a few times, but it didn't stick."

"How does that work? You're dead, clearly, but you can eat and drink human food? So either you function like a human mostly, or you're like a Cullen and going to vomit that coffee up later."

Suzanne jumped a bit when a snarl suddenly left Damon before he practically spat out, "Fucking Twilight. Worst thing to happen in a century. Fucking sparkling vampires, ruining our rep-"

She tried to keep a straight face – really, she did – but he didn't seem too annoyed when she burst into laughter.

"I get it, I get it. Scary vampire over here."

"Damn straight I am."

Unable to stop herself, Suzanne made eye contact before saying in the exact same somewhat arrogant tone, "And damn straight I am not."

Damon snorted in response and repeated his earlier statement when he responded, "Yup. Definitely keeping you. To answer your question, as long as I keep up my steady diet of blood my body functions like a human's. But with the super strength and speed and compulsion."

Suzanne thought that over for a moment before shrugging and saying, "You have a pretty good gig going on there. Though personally I'm not a fan of that last one."

He waved his hand at her dismissively and said, "Don't be a baby. I only made you listen and not tell anyone."

"And took away my fear. Good call on that one, if I'm being honest. I'd probably like you a bit less. Well, less than I do already for taking my fucking caffeine away from me. I just had a twelve hour shift and still have stuff to do at home-"

Damon only rolled his eyes and cut her off, "I'll get you a new one some other time."

Suzanne felt a spark of surprise, but no unease as she said, "So I'll be seeing you again sometime? Hopefully not at midnight again, prince charming."

The man across from her looked uncomfortable for a moment before he changed his expression to one of arrogance.

"Well you're obviously crazy about me. And you aren't terrible to look at."

With the lack of sleep finally catching up to her, Suzanne yawned loudly and stood up.

"Well, Mr. Vampire. This has been fun, but I'm completely beat."

Suzanne slid her phone across the table and said, "Put in your contact info then call yourself. I'm pretty boring, so you reach out when you want to hang out."

Damon did as she said and when his ring tone went off she couldn't help but laugh once more.

"Really? Dead or Alive? Cliché."

"I'll have you know that I was the first one to like this song when it came out and-"

Suzanne had already begun walking towards the door. With one last glance over her shoulder she waved him goodbye.

When she walked out the door towards the parking lot she was barely able to hear him mutter under his breath.

"A _human_. I'm turning into Stefan."


	2. Chapter 2

"Why are all teenagers so _loud_? Especially the druggies. I'm serious, every single one I encounter doesn't understand the concept of an inside voice."

Suzanne paused for a moment, taking in a very disheveled looking Damon who had just plopped down on the stool next to her at the Springfield Social. They'd seen each other a few times since the first time they'd met, each time either at the diner or here at her favorite bar.

The man hadn't been lying about the amount of booze he could down.

"It's understandable. Gushing, bloody wounds do tend to frighten small town teenagers. Please tell me you didn't pick any off from Springfield. I'll have a ton of foot traffic at the hospital."

Damon rolled his eyes and leaned forward, resting his forearms on top of the wooden bar top and looking every bit the definition of relaxed.

"No, Suze. Your town is safe from big, bad vampires. You can thank me with some bourbon."

Suzanne huffed but let the nickname slide. It was better than "princess" at least.

"I bought your drinks last week. As a 'thank you' for not killing me. Show appreciation, d-bag. I feel like this friendship is very one-sided."

Damon froze. Then a mocking smile took over his face.

"That's what this is? We're friends?"

Punching a vampire on the arm probably wasn't a smart course of action. But he hadn't taken off the hypnotism thing he'd used against her, so at the moment he scared Suzanne about as much as her dog Louie did when he jumped up on her.

"Of course we are. I'm not very good at making them, but I've watched enough Lifetime movies to know that we're buds."

Damon didn't respond right away, but when he called the bartender over and ordered her a double vodka diet Coke – the same drink she'd had last weekend – she knew they were fine.

"So tell me, have you seen any more of Saint Stefan?"

Damon whistled lowly and wagged his eyebrows suggestively at her when he responded, "Oh yeah. Good call about not confronting him yet. Things got _juicy_. The clone's parents died, and from what I can tell Stefan has started stalking her."

Suzanne immediately felt disgusted. It was horrible that the young girl's family was dead, and she was sure to be incredibly vulnerable. Stefan trying to swoop in and get to know her – maybe even try to get in her pants - was absolutely revolting.

"If he tries anything with a traumatized 15 year old I'm going to track him down and kick his ass."

Damon burst out laughing and by the time he finally quieted their drinks had arrived. He took a large swig of his bourbon and replied.

"Nah, he's not that suave when he's on the Bambi diet. He'll just brood even more than usual."

Suzanne snorted in response but felt relieved at hearing this.

"Ah. Early onset forehead wrinkles? Unfortunate. From what you've told me he seems like a looker."

Damon raised a questioning eyebrow and asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well if your bitchy ex – _don't look at me like that, she hurt your feelings so I'm obligated to dislike her_ – had to have somebody else when she already had _you_ he has to be hot as hell."

Damon opened his mouth to respond, clearly looking pissed off, but she interrupted whatever it was he was going to say when she shivered and said, "Jesus Christ I feel like a child molester talking about the attractiveness of someone seven years younger than me physically."

She took a few gulps of her drink, satisfied when she felt the resulting warmth in her chest. The angry look on his face, probably a result of Suzanne bad mouthing the ex he was clearly still in love with, melted at her statement and turned more pensive.

"He sure doesn't act like a seventeen year old, if that makes you feel any better. I swear it's like he considers himself a goddamn judge. If he wasn't such a white knight he'd have staked me years ago for my reign of terror. A reign of terror that now includes befriending a pedophile."

Suzanne laughed at that and shoved him with nearly all her strength. It was immensely unsatisfying when the vampire barely moved on the barstool. However she quieted and looked at him seriously as he chugged the remains of his drink and ordered another for the both of them.

"In all seriousness, you'll be okay when you finally confront him, right? I'm not going to have to sweep up your ashes one day courtesy of your brother?"

The corner of Damon's mouth twitched up into a genuine smile and Suzanne felt a surge of satisfaction.

"I'll be fine, Suze. He's weak on animal blood and I'd wipe the floor with him in a fight. Your concern is touching."

With a resigned sigh she realized the nickname had stuck. At least it wasn't "Suzy". Her concern hadn't entirely vanished though. She felt strangely protective of the vampire that had inserted himself into her life. Maybe it was the cliché tragic back story or their matching love of leather jackets, but Suzanne was going to see where this friendship took her.

"I know you've been staying with that rich old lady you compelled, but if you ever need a place to crash in the future you can have my pull out couch. Less fancy than you're used to, but I make fantastic French toast."

Damon's eyes widened and he sounded nothing short of incredulous when he said, "I can't tell if you're too nice or just stupid. That would mean an all access pass to your apartment. I could just swing by if I got hungry to eat you, even if your blood does taste gross. You'd be palate cleanser."

Suzanne paused for a moment, weighing her options. She could try to assess what she'd be feeling if he hadn't compelled her fear away, or she could obnoxiously call him on what she was pretty sure was his bluff.

Second option it was.

"Aw, you'd miss my never ending wit, Mr. Salvatore. You're one of my closest friends at this point and I'm pretty sure the same goes for you. It would be uncouth to kill me."

Damon froze before slowly turning to face her. He was squinting and looked her up and down with an unreadable expression on his face. However a moment later a cocky grin took over and he said in a falsely affronted tone, "Why, Suze! Are you trying to seduce me?"

Suzanne groaned but couldn't suppress her own smile as she kicked his shin and rolled her eyes.

"No, you moron. I have a habit of taking in strays."

Their second round arrived, and both of them started drinking once more, the atmosphere becoming much less serious.

It was only when Suze got home hours later that she realized he had never denied that she was one of his closest friends.

* * *

Hello, lovelies! To address a few questions I've been getting: This will not be Delena - I truly think that if Damon had someone supporting and caring about him he would not have emotionally latched onto her. Most of this will remain canon, but from an outside perspective of someone who doesn't spend all her time with the teenagers of Mystic Falls, so the events will pass much more quickly with her only moderately involving herself - usually for Damon's sake. Suzanne's face claim is Esther Heesch.

Let me know your thoughts thus far, I'll be taking plot suggestions into account!


	3. Chapter 3

_Three Weeks Later_

"D'you have a best friend?"

Suzanne was slurring and Damon was no clearer when he threw his head backwards onto the arm rest of her couch and lamented, "No. I used to, but not anymore."

Suzanne shoved his feet off her lap and lurched up from her own position on the couch as she had what she was quite sure was an epiphany. She whirled around to face him and pointed to his face. With a voice just a touch too loud she said excitedly, "I've got it! _I_ will be your new bestie, and you will be _my_ new bestie. 'S perfect!"

Damon lifted his head and tilted it to the side, and the effect was comical as her half-deaf Dalmatian, Louie – who had been sleeping on the chair next to her couch – copied his action. Before she could laugh in amusement Damon's mouth dropped opened in drunken awe and he said, "We should drink more to celebrate. Booze is always the best, Suze."

Suzanne nodded vigorously and swayed to the kitchen, but not before hearing Damon snickering at his rhyme. Picking up a half drained bottle of vodka and a new bottle of bourbon, she returned to her living room. Damon had stood up and wandered to the stack of CDs she kept on her bookshelf and was rifling through them, finally picking out one whose cover art she couldn't make out. She held out the bottle of bourbon and he traded her for the CD.

Suzanne wandered to her side table and popped it into the stereo. A moment later she whooped when _I Love Rock and Roll_ , one of her favorite songs, blared out. She quickly whirled her head to check on her dog, but saw the old guy had fallen asleep once more.

Without further prompting Suzanne kicked off her heels and tossed her bottle onto the couch as she began to dance in jerky, unattractive moves. Damon looked entirely too graceful when he joined in and Suzanne felt envious as she realized she must look even more uncoordinated in comparison. However before she could complain Damon grabbed her hands and started twirling her around. The moves didn't match the song _at all_ but they were both too drunk to care.

When the song ended they simultaneously collapsed back onto the couch and immediately gripped their alcohol once more. Suzanne briefly pondered if they were alcoholics, but the thought left her head just as quickly when Damon started speaking.

"So what are your problems, Suze? I need to be a good BFF and it's your turn to bitch."

Suzanne squinted at the ceiling for a moment, feeling a bit more sober suddenly as she thought over his question. While thinking she reached to the side to pet her dog's head a few times - something that always calmed her down - trying to focus on the words she would use to answer.

"I don't know what I'm doing. In life. I mean, I heart my life and everything, but I think sometimes that I'm not _going_ anywhere, you know?"

She turned to face the vampire next to her and he nodded along with her answer. Letting out a considering hum he met her eyes and said, "Well, I could turn you."

Suzanne questioned whether or not she would want to take him up on his offer but ultimately decided to pass on the idea.

"Don't want to hurt Louie by accident. Or my brother Scotty when he visits. Oh my god, you have to meet him – he'll _hate_ you. But I like the sun, I get these freckles on my nose. They're funny."

"I can go in the sun."

Suzanne's eyes widened dramatically. They had only ever hung out at night since she nearly always worked during the day shifts, and it struck her that she had never actually seen him during the daytime.

"But you said vampires couldn't!"

Damon snorted, clearly making fun of her reaction, but answered without _too_ much sarcasm, "I've got a magic ring from a witch."

"A witch? For real? Are there faeries and mermaids and leprechauns-"

Before she could so much as blink Damon used his vampire speed to place his hand over her mouth, immediately halting her rambling.

"Shut up, drunkie. Only vampires and witches. And clones, apparently."

Suzanne licked his palm and predictably he snatched his hand back. She pouted and folded her arms, utterly offended that he had told her to shut up.

"Aw, Suze, don't be mad."

She didn't have to focus to maintain her sad act, so Suzanne uncrossed her arms and reached out to grab Damon's hand. After playing with his ugly ring for a minute she said, "I don't have magic jewelry. So I'm going to stay human."

Damon groaned in exasperation and replied, "So boring. But alright, you'll be my little pet human." Without any warning he detangled his hand from hers and reached up to pat her cheeks mockingly.

Suzanne swatted his hand away but couldn't contain her laugh. She then repeated his gesture and cooed out half-seriously, "And you'll be my vampire best friend."

Nodding decisively, he seemed to accept the idea before turning to the TV on the wall.

"Can we watch something? I've been too busy doom and glooming to catch up on anything. Slaughtering the locals is much more time consuming than you'd think."

Completely deadpan she answered, "Ah, yes. Seems tiring, my heart bleeds for you. And I'm always in the mood to watch Buffy. We can point out inaccuracies."

And thus, Suzanne's night ended making fun of _fake_ vampires with a _real_ vampire.


	4. Chapter 4

Suzanne narrowed her eyes, trying her best to look intimidating. It was pretty early for her on a Sunday, and her frizzy hair paired with plaid pajama shorts probably didn't help her in her endeavor.

Okay, it was closer to noon, but who the hell was keeping track. She was an incredibly hard worker during the week, she should be allowed to have at least one day to be the human equivalent of a jellyfish.

"I hardly think you're in a position to tell me what I should and shouldn't eat, considering you're _a fucking corpse_."

Damon gasped dramatically, drawing the attention of an elderly woman standing further down the aisle of the grocery store who proceeded to look scandalized at the display of the two of them squabbling in public.

"Why, I never! I'm just looking out for you, Suze! If you don't eat meat how will you get your protein?"

Suzanne rolled her eyes and reached into the shopping cart he was pushing, shoving a few things out of the way before finding what she was looking for and holding it up.

"Tofu. We've gone over this."

Damon only wrinkled his nose in exaggerated distaste before he smacked the package back into the cart while muttering a few less-than-complimentary sentiments about her dietary choices. Well, he'd have to get used to it. She was a vegetarian and a moody vampire wasn't going to convince her to suddenly shove a burger down her throat.

He paid for her groceries when they were done. Seeing as he'd probably stolen the money at one point or another, Suzanne didn't bother turning down his offer. It wasn't like it would inconvenience him and her income wasn't exactly stellar.

When they reached her Jeep Suzanne almost broke into laughter. It was still so _strange_ to her that her best friend was a vampire. A vampire that was currently loading her groceries into her car.

Life was weird sometimes.

When he slid into the driver's seat, however, all charitable thoughts left her mind.

" _What the fuck do you think you're doing_?"

Damon put on an exaggeratedly innocent face and looked side to side before pointing at himself and mouthing 'me?'

"I was thinking that you looked so tired, I should take over the wheel for a bit. Besides, nothing you got needs to be loaded into the fridge right away. We could go to the lake."

Suzanne let out a resigned sigh but climbed into the passenger seat. She thought over his words for a moment and decided to take offense to his comment.

"I don't look tired, you jackass. I'm just not wearing makeup today. I'm hardly going to get dolled up for the likes of _you_."

Damon snorted and turned on the radio as they pulled out of the lot, quickly changing it to an old rock song Suzanne didn't recognize. When he began humming along it was soothing in a weird way. It was a sunny Summer day and she was with her best friend. Life was pretty good right now.

"Wait! Can we get Louie first? He loves swimming."

Damon nodded and continued driving, taking the turns that would lead to her apartment. Unloading the groceries into her fridge only took a few minutes with his vampire speed and as soon as they were done Suzanne walked over to the Dalmatian sleeping in the corner of the living room, gently waking him up.

She pet him for a little while and cooed at him as Damon mocked her baby talk behind her back. Jackass.

Once her dog was sufficiently roused, Suzanne walked into her bedroom and began rifling through her things. It only took a few moments to realize that she didn't currently have any swimsuits. With a low sigh she found a sports bra and a pair of under armor shorts she figured would work just as well.

"I'm going to get changed, give me five!"

When she returned to the living room after throwing on a sun dress to act as a cover-up, Suzanne had to stifle her laughter to the sight in front of her.

Damon was crouched in front of Louie, and they seemed to be having a staring contest. Without looking away from the dog, Damon addressed her.

"We should go all out. Picnic with mimosas and shit. This needs to be an epic day to add to _The Summer of Damon and Suze._ "

Absentmindedly, Suzanne cut him off and interrupted with their long standing argument, " _The Summer of Suze and Damon_. My name sounds better in front. And I'd be down for that. It will be nice having a day to completely relax. We can bitch and moan about our lack of love lives and sunbathe. It'll be like Sex and the City but without either of those things."

After her rant Damon seemed to give up on his weird rivalry against her Dalmatian and turned his head to meet her eyes, raising his eyebrows before he said in a falsely serious tone, "I really question why we're friends sometimes."

Suzanne yanked his ear as she walked by on the way to her kitchen to pack lunches and was immensely satisfied with the undignified yelping sound he made. As she pulled open the fridge and pulled out the orange juice for mimosas she answered in a sing-song voice, "Because we have the same brand of crazy and inability to make normal friends."

Damon didn't answer her verbally, but when he came over and began helping her make sandwiches she figured her answer had satisfied him. The monotony of spreading jelly evenly over wheat bread allowed her to zone out until Damon interrupted her day dream.

"Peanut butter and jelly? Are you five?"

Suzanne shook her head, unbothered as she continued making her food, but said, "No, its almond butter. I'm deathly allergic to peanuts. As I've already told you. You trying to kill me, D-Bag?"

A huffing sound was all she got in response, so Suzanne continued rambling out loud.

"It's strange to be going to the lake and swimming. I'm usually scared of swimming. _Terrified_ actually, ever since I was twelve. I drowned in my neighbors' pool and had to be revived with CPR. I guess the no-fear thing comes in handy sometimes."

Next to her, Damon froze for a moment before he once more began chopping tomatoes for what looked like the start of a makeshift caprese salad. His tone of voice seemed to be aiming for casual, but Suzanne could immediately sense that he was on edge.

"The no-fear thing?"

"Yeah. You compelled away my fear, remember? Can't tell anyone about you and I can't feel fear. It's made my life a lot more interesting, to say the least."

Damon stopped what he was doing completely then and turned, grabbing her shoulders and forcing her to look at him.

"Suze… have you been doing things you normally wouldn't because you can't feel fear?"

Suzanne rolled her eyes and tried to turn back to their lunches, but his grip was firm. With an exasperated sigh she said, "No, dumbass. I can still assess what is and isn't stupid to do."

Damon still seemed on edge and released her, running a hand roughly through his hair as he began muttering only just loud enough for her to hear.

"This isn't _real_. You're not actually my friend. You wouldn't be if-"

Suzanne felt a surge of rage, bothered by the self-disgust she could practically see emanating from her best friend. Sometimes she wished she could find all of the people who had ever made Damon feel this badly about himself and punch them in the fucking throats.

"Hey, what the hell do you think you're saying – "

Before another word could leave her mouth Damon snapped his head towards hers faster than her eyes could track, looking sad when his pupils began dilating.

" _I take back all of my compulsion_."


	5. Chapter 5

She screamed. _Obviously_. Half a second later Suzanne slapped both of her hands over her mouth, hoping to muffle the shrieks still escaping her lips as nearly two months of memories of conversations about casual murder were replayed – with an immense amount of fear added to the equation.

Damon wore a blank expression but seemed to be watching her closely, measuring her actions with careful eyes. He was definitely one edge and _holy fucking shit he was a VAMPIRE there was a BLOOD DRINKING VAMPIRE in her home and she had asked him last week if he preferred O Negative to anything else –_

Hell. Suzanne had her suspicions before but yup, definitely going to hell.

Suzanne stopped yelling and paused, taking a deep breath in and out. She averted her eyes from the vampire's – _Damon's, her best friend's_ – and carefully put down the jelly covered knife that had probably just made her hair sticky when she'd held it up next to her face by accident. Both of her hands gripped the counter and she continued to stay quiet, only focusing on inhaling and then exhaling.

A minute or two later Suzanne finally spoke while turning to face Damon once more.

"Are you planning on killing me?"

Damon looked absolutely floored. But come on, he really was so shocked at the question when they'd had countless philosophical arguments about the moral permissibility of his murderous tendencies? Suzanne felt a flash of fondness for the idiotic man in front of her before trying to steel herself. She needed answers, and she needed them _now._

Damon leaned against the kitchen counter nonchalantly but the white knuckles of his balled fists gave away his tension.

"Not on my agenda, princess."

Suzanne was so close to kicking him in the crotch. Jesus fucking Christ, Damon Salvatore was the poster boy of fear of rejection. Pushing her away so obviously wasn't going to work, and – huh. Okay. It seemed like her subconscious was recognizing the serial killer as her best friend again.

Of course at the thought of her best friend having been a serial killer with victims added on as recently as last weekend Suzanne started hyperventilating. She slowly tried lowering herself to the kitchen floor's tiles, eventually just slumping down with her back pressed against the dishwasher.

"This is my cue to go."

Suzanne kicked out at his shin and indignantly whined, "What the hell! You can't leave you fuckwit! I've fallen and I can't get up, you're my only available Life Alert!"

Damon snorted but crouched down so they were on eye level. Surprisingly carefully he reached forward and drew her into his chest, gently cradling her shoulders as Suzanne continued breathing far too quickly into his chest. The familiar smell of his cologne was immensely comforting and after a few minutes of Damon patting her back and mumbling random insults aimed at her lungs she relaxed.

Still pressed against his chest, Suzanne mumbled, "Okay. Okay, I've got this. We're just gonna have to give the human a brief adjustment period to acknowledge that her pet vampire is, you know, a _vampire_."

Damon stilled and shoved her away from him, standing fluidly and glaring down at her confused expression.

"What the ever loving fuck is wrong with you?"

Suzanne shrugged and shakily pulled herself up, no thanks to the _dick_ in front of her. Reaching for the orange juice on her table she took a few gulps. After she felt a bit better she finally answered.

"You're the one that picked a best friend who lacks a strong moral compass. So really, you're the one who has something wrong with you."

Damon was still glaring at her and his voice was barely more than a hiss when he said, "Suze. I _kill_ people."

Suzanne couldn't really refute that, so she simply shrugged and tried to appear more calm than she actually felt as she said, "Well, yeah. Your species needs blood. You've gotta eat."

Damon looked pissed off, but before he could speak she continued, "I'm pretty sure I'm in shock. Almost 100% sure. Let's go to the lake. We already started making lunch. I'm _not_ going swimming though. Fuck that shit."

The vampire next to her took a step back and seemed to be assessing her. From the way his tense stance had loosened, Suzanne guessed that he'd realized she was serious.

A relieved look covered Damon's face before he quickly changed his expression to the default bored-yet-amused, but his relief was still incredibly easy for Suzanne to pick up on when he let out a low whistle and said, "I think you're a sociopath."

She took a minute to seriously consider that. After all, Suzanne could honestly say that she wasn't repulsed by Damon or his actions. She probably should have been but really – humans killed humans every day for wars and claimed it was necessary. Vampire had to kill – okay, theoretically they didn't have to _kill_ them but whatever – for survival. Who the fuck was she to question evolution?

Suzanne reached her conclusion and shook her head to indicate her disagreement.

"There's a distinct possibility I've got sociopathic tendencies, but not quite. I love my mom and dad and Scotty. And I adore you, too. Even if you are a complete ass sometimes."

Damon cleared his throat and looked so freaking _awkward_ that Suzanne almost started laughing at him. But when he quietly muttered, "Yeah, yeah. You too" she couldn't do anything but smile.

"Then it's settled. We're still best friends, we're still going to have a kickass summer, and we'll ignore my mini mental breakdowns that are sure to pop up in the next few weeks."

Damon nodded decisively and turned back to the spread of half-finished food, picking up a knife and dicing tomatoes and mozzarella as if nothing had happened.

"So the killing people thing… doesn't apply to me, right?"

Damon let out an annoyed huff, offended by the _totally legitimate question_.

"Course not, princess. You and yours are off limits."

"Well then. Time to get on with our summer plans. Can't have you getting bored before infiltrating your baby brother's Cullen-esque extravaganza."


	6. Chapter 6

Suzanne wasn't _stupid_. In fact, she was quite smart. But as the dark veins spread beneath Damon's eyes and his fangs descended while he looked enraged, Suzanne realized that she had quite possibly had an error in judgment.

* * *

 _Eight minutes earlier_

Damon was starfished on the carpet of her bedroom, looking completely relaxed as Louie laid half on top of him, both of them dozing off. Suzanne made sure to discretely take a picture, smiling to herself when she saw that it had come out looking adorable. _Greatest fucking blackmail for her oh-so-badass best friend._

"There is so much crap under your bed. I see at least three pairs of socks and what looks like a magic eight ball. Don't humans stop playing with those in third grade?"

Suzanne, who had been laying on her stomach while reading Martial's _Epigrams_ – okay, she was a nerd who took Latin for all four years of college, whatever – extended her arm off of the bed and flicked his nose.

"You're so abusive!"

Suzanne rolled her eyes at his whining and didn't bother looking down at him when she responded blandly, "Good luck finding someone who cares."

Just on the edge of her peripheral vision she saw Damon gently lift her dog off of him, resulting in a pathetic bark from the Dalmatian. Louie was absolutely _enamored_ with Damon. It was bizarre, but every time Damon came over he acted like a puppy. The vampire had joked that they could train him as a vampire-detector.

Faster than her eyes could register, Damon flew over from the other side of the room and threw himself on top of her. He didn't hesitate to put all of his weight on her when he sat on her lower back.

Suzanne's breath immediately left her and she wheezed, "Get the hell off, you douche!"

In a sing song voice he responded, "Not until you say you're sorry. I can stay here all day. All of eternity, actually."

Suzanne tried to breathe in but could only take shallow gasps so she shouted, "Oh my god, sorry! Fuck you!"

"Hmm. Doesn't seem very _genuine_ to me. What do you think, Louie?"

At the sound of his name, her dog perked his head up and began wagging his tail. The _traitor_.

Suzanne was still gasping to get enough air to speak and finally said, "I'm sincerely sorry for the abuse, Damon Elizabeth Salvatore."

Damon rolled off to the side so he was laying on his back next to her, when she turned to face him she could see that he had a strangely endearing confused look on his face.

"Elizab – what?"

Suzanne shrugged and simply responded, "Well I don't know your middle name. I thought I'd grace you with mine."

Damon made a cooing sound and patted her cheek condescendingly.

"You just say the sweetest things, Suze."

Suzanne rolled her eyes and got back to her reading while Damon seemed to be thinking deeply. Which obviously was concerning and a sign of the upcoming apocalypse.

When she opened her mouth to ask what was in his head, he interrupted her.

"Katherine is alive. That's why I'm going back to Mystic Falls. That's where she is."

Suzanne dropped her book and gaped at him.

"Are you – are you _fucking kidding me_ you complete skank! _No lead up at all_! You are such an awful best friend."

Damon hadn't moved at all, keeping his passive expression while he stared at the ceiling. After a moment, he simply turned to her and raised an eyebrow.

"You done?"

Suzanne struggled not to shriek at him. He was such a dick sometimes. Just usually, well, usually not to her.

"What do you mean she's in Mystic Falls? Why the hell – I mean, why the hell haven't you gone after her, you're obsessed with her."

Damon struggled to look nonchalant but Suzanne could obviously tell that he was majorly suppressing his emotions when he said, "She's been trapped in a prison there since the 1860's. Getting her out is a specific process."

Suzanne whistled lowly and felt an enormous surge of pity.

"Damn. That's awful. Nobody deserves that. It's like when criminals get multiple life sentences, but she actually has to live hers out."

Before Damon could say anything else, Suzanne went on to say, "You aren't taking her back though, right? Releasing her I get, it's the right thing to do, but I assume you aren't going to be her boy toy again."

Damon's body froze and Suzanne felt a strange pang of anxiety when he slowly turned his head to meet her gaze. His expression was blank, which was honestly usually a precursor to violence.

"What do you mean _take her back_. We never ended. And I wasn't her 'boy toy'. We were-"

Suzanne knew she shouldn't say anything. But fuck, everything Damon had told her about Katherine didn't exactly endear her to the vampire. Damon loved her, but Suzanne had figured it was a past-tense thing. That he was pining because she had passed away.

"Damon, I just don't know if you should jump back into a relationship with her. Stefan is in the same town, and last time the three of you were together she took advantage of your-"

Damon rolled off of the bed to stand and glared at her when she sat up on the edge herself to meet her gaze. When dark veins spread beneath Damon's eyes and fangs extended while he looked enraged, Suzanne realized that she perhaps should have phrased her concerns a bit better.

"What the _fuck_ is the matter with you? I'm getting the love of my life back and you turn into some jealous bitch –"

When he raised his voice, Suzanne felt her own temper spike. She was scared, hell yes, but Damon just wasn't getting it. When she interjected, she was shouting in an equally annoyed voice.

"Can you just shut up and listen to me for a minute! You're my _best friend_! I'm not jealous, Jesus fucking Christ! I just want you to be happy, and when you talk about Katherine and Stefan, your face, it just _drops_. I understand helping her. But I don't want to see you miserable because she still has a hold on you."

Damon had actually frozen, and when his face began shifting back to look more human she knew he had actually processed her words. When his posture slumped once more and an arrogant smile stretched across his mouth, Suzanne knew that they were alright, but that he was also about to completely bullshit her.

"Your concern is touching. You deserve an award for being a truly protective friend." His voice hardened a little bit and his eyes narrowed when he finished by saying, "but Katherine is the love of my life. She loved me, and nothing will keep us apart ever again once she is free."

Suzanne inhaled deeply and then exhaled, but knew that the minimal progress she had made would be the extent of this subject so she let it drop.

"Fine. Now I need you to be my wingman tonight. There's this hot new nurse at work and I need a drinking buddy when I invite her to casually come to the bar."


	7. Chapter 7

Suzanne was having a shitty day so far.

She was stomping much too hard on the pavement. She accepted this, and didn't plan on stopping her melodramatic actions. Seeing as Suzanne was in New York City and wearing heels, however, she had to acknowledge that her endeavor was treacherous.

Louie was pulling lightly on his leash, and not for the first time that day Suzanne was glad that there weren't too many people on the paths of Central Park to weave through with her dog. Evidently the late afternoon of a Tuesday wasn't the peak of foot traffic.

When Louie abruptly stopped to sniff at an _absolutely fascinating_ patch of grass, Suzanne sighed and finally slowed down to an ambling walk.

Her day was going very poorly, and Damon Salvatore was at fault.

Okay, not completely, but he was a perfectly viable option to lay blame on. She would only be out of the state for five days, and he chose to mix things up when she was gone. It was incredibly rude. Damon knew that Suzanne had been looking forward to hearing all about the Mystic Falls drama first hand when he first integrated into the weird little town, and he'd already gone and killed a nearby couple to spook his brother before his first day at high school.

Now Suzanne would be out of the loop for the next two days. It wasn't safe to talk about what he was up to over the phone, but she was desperate for information to distract her from her crappy afternoon.

She'd driven up to New York to visit Scotty. It was a long drive, but she took Louie everywhere with her and driving was easiest. Besides, Suzanne was a fan of group or solo road trips. She'd gotten a chance to see her brother for almost two days straight but his job was fairly demanding, so they had already said their goodbyes.

Damon Salvatore may have initiated her bad mood, but her closest friend from college shooting her a text last minute saying he wasn't comfortable with their lunch plans was the straw that broke the bitchy receptionist's back. Suzanne hadn't seen Jay in about two years, and she'd been mildly interested to hear from him and get updates on their old classmates.

Friends weren't her forte. Thus far in Suzanne's life, people left once they got to know her better. So it was sort of habit to keep her distance before the inevitable end of the friendship. Dating wasn't her forte either.

Did she even have a forte? She had abandonment issues aplenty, sure, and that was probably why she and Damon had almost immediately become immensely codependent on each other but –

Suzanne's train of thought was cut off when out of nowhere Louie lurched forward and she lost her grip on his leash. The old dog took off, running faster than she had seen in years.

Unfortunately, his reason for excitement became clear when he leaped at a blonde pedestrian, whose beverage spilled all over his clearly-expensive shirt.

It was official. Her life was a fucking cliché romantic comedy.

* * *

Klaus was having a fantastic day so far.

His negotiation with the coven of witches situated in Manhattan had gone incredibly well. Not only had they sworn fealty to him; they had given him the names of other covens that had been discussing an uprising against himself and Elijah. He was looking forward to decimating them in the next few weeks.

Unfortunately, it had been becoming more and more obvious in the last decade or so that he would have to distance himself from Elijah. His brother had been angry when Klaus had daggered their siblings, and to Elijah's knowledge they were lost at the bottom of the ocean.

Of course they were in a secure location known only to him, but he wasn't going to correct his brother's assumption. It was safer to have leverage later to hold over him if Elijah did indeed betray him. Klaus needed only people he could trust completely when he broke his curse. Everything had to be perfect when the doppelganger was found – there could be no liabilities or unpredictable variables whatsoever.

Lost in thought, Klaus only had a moment's warning before a deranged mongrel collided with him.

His seltzer spilled down his shirt front and he immediately was relieved he hadn't been drinking anything that would stain – this was one of his favorite shirts. When he had a second to stare down at the dog, he saw that it was an old, spotted Dalmatian that was now enthusiastically wagging its tail. Animals – especially canines – were typically skittish around him, so he was admittedly curious about the animal.

"Louie, no! Jesus fucking Christ I swear to god this isn't some Disney plot to entangle you, I wouldn't risk paying for that outfit –"

The blonde woman heading toward him looked genuinely annoyed, but oddly enough it didn't seem like her ire was directed at the dog – Louie, if he'd heard right. She was moving startlingly fast considering her high heels and reached them in only a few seconds.

" – I mean seriously, I have a shitty friend whose rants have educated me in men's fashion to the point that I know that t shirt has to be at least three hundred dollars, which I think is a huge waste but whatever. To each his own terrible financial decisions I guess."

Klaus was unused to the boldness she was showing. The people he interacted with always had a delicious streak of terror to their words, but the little spitfire in front of him had absolutely no knowledge as to who he was and therefore found it appropriate to criticize his spending habits.

Klaus handed back the leash to the dog as soon as she was close enough with an enormous smirk on his face. Her own expression went blank for a second, as if forgetting what she had done that would earn that look from a stranger before she lit up with realization.

Completely unashamed, the woman stuck her hand out to shake and said, "Oh, sorry. I'm Suzanne, this little monster is Louie. He's usually pretty apathetic to everyone who isn't me, but it looks like you're one of two exceptions. Is that going to stain? I've got to be honest, if that's the case I'm going to kick off these shoes and book it to avoid the consequences."

Klaus found himself snorting with surprised amusement at her entirely blunt honesty and decided that this woman was the most entertaining thing he had come across in quite a while. It didn't hurt that she was quite pretty in an untraditional way. Her features were a bit sharp, and when she grinned it looked somewhat threatening.

He was unrepentant of the fact that it was incredibly attractive to him. He reached out with his own hand immediately and they exchanged a firm handshake.

"I'm Nick. I'm drinking seltzer so there won't be a stain, I'll send it off with the rest of my dry cleaning tomorrow. There's no need to run off, though I may insist you buy me another drink. I feel it's only fair after being assaulted by your companion, Suzanne."

Suzanne narrowed her eyes at him as she looked him up and down. Her gaze was equal parts appreciative and assessing, and she looked so focused that he was almost startled when her eyes darted up to meet his and she broke the silence.

"Are you asking me on a date? I'm not in New England for very long."

Klaus nodded and responded in what he hoped was a convincing relaxed tone when he said, "I'm not here for much longer either, I travel quite often. But I can't pass up an opportunity for drinks with a pretty girl, now can I?"

Suzanne looked strangely shy for a second, but quickly schooled her features into an expression of nonchalance when she said, "Well Nick, you've made a convincing argument. But just a heads up, it's four thirty in the afternoon, which means all drinks provided will be alcoholic."

"You are becoming more and more enticing, love."

* * *

 _Anyone see that coming?_


	8. Chapter 8

Suzanne looked at Damon with a blank expression, unimpressed with his smug declaration.

"Am I supposed to give you a pat on the back? High school girls are a dime a dozen. You finding one to eat isn't exactly a revelation."

Damon rolled his eyes and grabbed the remote, shutting off the episode of House they'd been watching and forcing her to look at him.

"But this one has a _purpose_ in my Mystic Falls diabolical scheme. I thought you'd want to hear all about it. Unless you're still pissed about my egregious error of beginning the plot without you."

Suzanne took a minute to weigh her options. The silent treatment and faked disinterest had been driving Damon crazy since she got back to Virginia, and seeing him try pathetically to get on her good side was incredibly entertaining.

 _But_ she also wanted to hear about this. Very, very badly.

"Okay. I'll bite. Give me the details."

Damon's eyes lit up at her show of apparent forgiveness and his voice was eager when he began speaking.

"So I took a bite out of a drugged up teenager at the bonfire party Elena was at with Stefan. You know, the foreplay for later terror and hysteria."

Suzanne nodded along and murmured in agreement, "Of course."

"But _then_ at the end of the night one of Elena's best friends went on a rant that revealed raging insecurity before she liberally eye-fucked me. All I've got to do is make her wishes come true and taunt Stefan with the fact that Elena's friend is my blood bag."

Suzanne frowned immediately at this.

"No. You will not be sleeping with this girl. She is sixteen, maybe seventeen at most, and you are physically twenty five if we _don't_ take your hundred plus years as a corpse into account. It's statutory rape. And I know that as a teenager my sexual choices were much, much different than they are now."

Damon interrupted her rant before she could say anything else, but looked fondly exasperated when he spoke.

"As much as I'd love to hear about your exploits as a dorky high school student, I'll pass for now. And we already went over this when you lectured me a month and a half ago. I'm not going to _actually_ sleep with her. She'll be compelled to think so, as per your request."

Suzanne tried to hide her smile, but eventually gave up and grinned widely at her best friend. _These_ moments were the reason that Suzanne wanted to punch Saint Stefan in the fucking mouth and knock out a few teeth. The younger vampire talked down to Damon constantly and preached about how evil he was and how he had no redeeming qualities, yada yada.

For one, Damon's cynical sense of humor was a fantastic quality, if Suzanne said so herself. And he always let her have the last of the pretzels when the bag ran out. Kindness, naivety, altruism, and tortured brooding weren't even near the top of Suzanne's list of good qualities in a person. It was irritating that Damon's younger brother didn't even bother trying to see his positive qualities.

…and apparently Stefan's body count was disregarded since he went to the good side?

Either way, Suzanne loved Damon as a friend. They'd known each other for nearly six months and seen each other all the god damn time. The two of them just _got_ each other.

Damon always knew when Suzanne needed to let off steam, when she needed him to comfort her, or when she needed him to go along with her plans to ignore her problems. And Suzanne knew that Damon wasn't some perfect, nice guy who put on an asshole façade but deep down was actually a cinnamon roll. Damon Salvatore was an ass, and deep down, he was still an ass.

But it couldn't be said that he didn't have a few soft spots. Well – that was probably a misnomer. Their friendship was composed of the fact that they were psychotically protective of the other and they were mutual bitches who enabled each other's bad habits.

The vampire had labeled them 'platonic soul-mates' and to be honest, Suzanne actually believed in that bullshit when it came to this.

Getting back to their conversation, Suzanne said, "I think you should bring her over here when you two are not-fucking. If you bring her to the boarding house Stefan will see through you, and her family would notice an older guy doing the walk of shame. I'll watch Lost with her and paint her nails and shit to balance out you using her like a human Capri-Sun."

Damon nodded with a thoughtful expression on his face and responded, "Why Miss Sinclair, that's actually a good idea."

Suzanne nodded with a smug expression and said, "All I ask is that you heal her after chomping. Don't be obvious. And of course it's a good idea, all of my ideas –"

"Making me compel the pet store to let you 'borrow' seven golden retriever puppies for a day."

"Okay, that was a fantastic idea, it was just poor planning beforehand and your habit of leaving your fancy shoes on the floor that –"

"Drunkenly climbing onto that old lady biker's lap and soulfully telling her that you were pretty sure she was Emperor Augustus in a previous life."

"You know, you can't exactly _disprove_ –"

"Spiking the punch at the retirement home."

"Okay, okay. Fuck you very much."

Damon threw his hands up in the air triumphantly and was about to brag about his victory when Suzanne's text tone went off. At the name flashing across the screen, she felt a surge of surprise and interest.

Seeing her expression, Damon of course immediately leaned across the couch to see what had come up on her phone.

"Nick Smith? You've never mentioned him."

Suzanne heard the plaintive tone and shoved him off of her before saying, "I'm aware. I met him two days ago and we went out for drinks. He bought me some expensive booze."

"Wait, you met him in New York City? Why would you still talk if you probably won't run into him again?"

Suzanne shrugged, not really having an answer. Exchanging numbers with Nick had been done on a whim. After dropping Louie off at her AirBnb and meeting Nick at a bar later, she'd had a fun night. It had ended with the two of them making out against the side of his _very nice_ car like teenagers, but Suzanne had pulled the plug before she was tempted to spend the night with him.

"It's the first time he's sent me a text since I left."

"Oooh, is he a _special_ friend? Suze and Nick, sitting in a tree, F-U-C-K-I-N-G, first comes –"

Damon's song came to an abrupt end when Suzanne landed a solid punch to his solar plexus without bothering to look up from her screen. His wheezing sound was worth the bruises that would probably form on her knuckles.

When she unlocked her phone and saw what he had sent, she dramatically gasped and whispered, "That fucker."

Suzanne quickly turned the phone around and held it out in front of Damon so he could see the message and hopefully share her indignation.

"Why are you pissed by a picture of a departing flight screen at an airport? Are you already pining for him or something?"

Suzanne burst out laughing and Damon joined in a second later, both of them knowing that Suzanne wasn't exactly on board with the love-at-first-sight thing. Considering hers and Nick's first encounter had been disastrous, her disbelief was especially applicable. She was not fooled by 90's teen comedies – bumping into someone in an unexpected and inconvenient manner _was not a cute way to meet a significant other_.

"I'm not actually mad. We'd talked about the fact that he's going to Rome, so this picture is his way of lording it over me since I drunkenly confessed my love of Latin."

Damon let out a long, considerate whistle but answered back, "Sounds like a dick. You tend to attract those, don't you?"

Suzanne raised her eyebrows and purposely looked him up and down when she said, "Exhibit A."

Damon continued on as if she hadn't spoken while an amused smirk covered his face.

"So he buys you fancy liquor, knows some of your embarrassing secrets, and acts like a jackass. He sounds like we'd get along. I give him my blessing. You have my full support if you decide to flee to Italy and stay with him in a licentious love nest, as long as I get invited for Christmas every year."

Suzanne just stared at him for a moment, utterly bewildered.

"Um. Thanks?"


	9. Chapter 9

_Sorry everyone, only posted the last half of the chapter! This now includes the first section_

* * *

Suzanne stood in the doorway of her apartment, frozen with disbelief as Louie howled mournfully behind her at the fact that he couldn't burst into the hallway and play with Damon.

"D, when you said that there was a high school girl who wanted in your pants, you didn't mention that fact that you'd be fake seducing her _the next day_. What if I had work early tomorrow?"

Damon replied in a blithe voice, "I know your work schedule. Last week before your break you had the night shift, so you don't have to go in tomorrow until ten. I'll be by tomorrow morning to pick up Barbie."

The blonde girl standing beside Damon looked offended at both of their comments and put on a bitchy I'm-popular-and-clearly-superior-to-you look that Suzanne had long since become accustomed to when she herself was in high school. Getting that look now as a twenty four year old woman was more amusing than anything else.

The blonde cocked her hip – _literally performed that action_ – and said in a snooty voice, "And who exactly are _you_?"

Suzanne burst out laughing, not at all offended by the girl, which only made the blonde pout. Damon had warned her that the girl was insecure, and her bizarre posturing was a very clear indicator that he was right.

"I'm Suzanne, Damon's best friend. You'll be staying at my place tonight. Hope you like dogs."

Damon, however, looked a little annoyed at the way that the girl had spoken to Suzanne. He turned her head to make eye contact and compelled her right away.

" _You'll stay with Suzanne tonight and not cause any trouble. I'll pick you up in the morning and you will act as though we had sex when you are around your friends._ "

The girl nodded enthusiastically in response, and followed Suzanne into the apartment when she beckoned that she enter. Before shutting the door, Suzanne narrowed her eyes and spoke in a falsely threatening voice.

"You owe me, Salvatore."

Damon bowed lowly in response and responded with fake sincerity, "Of course, Miss Sinclair. I am indebted to you."

Suzanne snorted and took a bit too much enjoyment in slamming the door in his face.

* * *

Surprisingly, Suzanne _liked_ the girl, who'd introduced herself perkily as "Caroline Jennifer-Jean Forbes." Once they'd gotten over the awkward first half hour of being around a stranger without a buffer, the two had discovered their mutual love of the movie _The Princess Bride_ , which was now playing in the background as the two chatted.

Suzanne hadn't been joking when she had said that she would paint the girl's nails – it was something she secretly loved doing. When she had been much more sober than Damon one night after he passed out, she _might_ have painted his toenails a pretty dark blue.

His threat that he would push her off a cliff if she ever showed anyone the pictures was one of the very, very few she had taken to heart.

Caroline was currently laying down on the couch with her feet in Suzanne's lap as Suzanne concentrated on painting her toenails light pink. Caroline's running bitchy commentary of the movie was fucking hysterical, and more than a few times Suzanne had been forced to stop the pedicure because she was laughing too hard.

The fact that Caroline was rhythmically stroking Louie's head, who was sitting just next to the couch and in _heaven_ what with the attention he was receiving, was also a deciding factor in Suzanne's decision to befriend the teenager. She had decided a few days before that her Dalmatian was a fantastic judge of character, just like his mom.

…and okay, Suzanne was fairly certain her dog was the only dependant she should ever be responsible for. Children were always _sticky_ and had a self destruct button on the top of their fucking _skull_.

However, when Caroline began speaking about her friends, Suzanne immediately felt a stab of concern that morphed into anger.

" – Elena's been through a ton, obviously, but Bonnie has been shutting me out every time I reach out to find out how she's doing. They both treat me like I'm some blonde moron sometimes, it's just – it's hard sometimes. Everyone has always put Elena first and treated her like she'd so much better than me. Like, I get straight A's. I take AP courses. But I'm probably going to finish high school with the legacy of the slutty cheerleader."

Suzanne didn't speak for a minute, trying to calm herself down as she slowly finished the last nail and screwed the top back on the polish. Caroline was staring at the television, as if unbothered by her reveal, but Suzanne could see her clenched jaw.

Suzanne leaned over and grabbed one of the girl's hand, squeezing it hard to get her attention. When Caroline turned to meet her eyes, Suzanne spoke firmly and without any room left for doubt.

"Do not _ever_ let some moronic high school fuckheads make you feel like you aren't good enough for whatever it is you want. People will always place the blame on you, as if it's your fault for having a low opinion of yourself, but it _isn't_. Self worth is usually low when others have treated you poorly. You are more than a 'slutty cheerleader'." Suzanne wrinkled her nose, suppressing a rant about the unfairness of the word slut – that was for another time, "We've only hung out for three hours and I already like you a lot. I'm a complete bitch, so that says something. You clearly care about your friend, and you're smart and funny. Plus you're nice to my dog. In my book, you're pretty grade-A. Even if they're your friends, don't let their opinions matter."

Caroline had tears in her eyes when Suzanne finished speaking and was pressing her lips together tightly in an obvious attempt to keep from crying. When she whispered out the word "Okay" it was in a hoarse and trembling voice. Suzanne smiled warmly at her and resolved to make sure Caroline emerged from Damon's plot unharmed. The girl didn't deserve to be collateral damage , and it would be easy for Damon to treat her nicely – well, not badly at least – and find another teenager as a snack pack.

A jackass Damon was, a completely unfeeling bastard who disregarded a request from his best friend Damon was not.

Suzanne cleared her throat and decided to give the girl an out so they wouldn't have to get too Lifetime-movie for the rest of the night.

"Fun fact – I'm pretty much platinum blonde naturally, makes me look washed out. I low light the shit out of it. But you rock the light blonde, so fuck anyone who knocks it. So, how late do you want to stay up? I'm used to all nighters and don't have work until ten."

Caroline smiled and latched on to the lighter conversation when she replied, "I have cheerleading practice after Damon picks me up. I'm going to act as though Damon and I had sex."

Suzanne coughed to hide her laughter at the straightforward acknowledgement of the compulsion Damon had performed but went on to ask, "Not an answer, Rapunzel. What are you up for?"

Caroline opened her mouth with a slightly confused expression, clearly going to ask what the nickname was for, but Suzanne cut in.

"Rapunzel is one of the blonde Disney women for one, and she's one of the only ones who saves herself to get what she wants. You deserve to be a princess and clearly don't need some asshole prince to save you. Ergo, Rapunzel."

Caroline smiled brightly, evidently accepting the nickname, but answered Suzanne's original question when she said, "I'm used to all nighters too. But since I have practice tomorrow I'm thinking I should go to sleep at three."

Suzanne clapped, absolutely delighted, and tried brainstorming what they should do. She didn't have female friends, and her hobbies were weird. Girls didn't respond the same way to brutal honesty that guys did, and it was admittedly fun to now go through the stereotypical sleepover activities.

Suzanne acknowledged that this was pathetic. She was turning twenty five in a month and Caroline was either sixteen or seventeen. Suzanne also didn't care that this was pathetic.

"Got it. Am I a terrible influence if I break out the booze? Lie to me if the answer is yes."

Caroline shook her head with false solemnity before asking, "Do you have any tequila? I'm a tequila girl."

Suzanne stood up and wandered over to her liquor cabinet, not entirely sure. She had multiple handles of vodka, but eventually found a half empty bottle of tequila in the way back and grabbed a few shot glasses, limes, and salt.

When she sat back down on the couch, Caroline was flipping through a few selections and suggested shows on Suzanne's Netflix account. When she finally settled on the movie _Clueless_ , Suzanne sat back down next to her and nodded in approval.

With that, the two of them started drinking.

* * *

When Damon came by the in the morning her alarm had yet to go off. Caroline was still asleep and Suzanne motioned for him to be quiet. As he opened his mouth to speak, Suzanne immediately cut him off.

"I like her a lot. Even though she gives me freaky big-sister vibes that I want to exfoliate off immediately. So please don't hurt her. I get that she's important to your plot, but find another high school student to munch on. I'll owe you a favor."

Damon's eyebrows raised in surprise, clearly caught off guard by the request. Suzanne wasn't exactly the friendliest regarding people, so she had been expecting his response. When he answered her his tone was a little incredulous, but she could sense the sincerity behind it.

"Damn. Unexpected connection right there – I'll admit I did not see this coming at all. But if she has your stamp of approval she _probably_ isn't the vapid little Barbie I pegged her for. We should bring her to the Social sometime and test her out, see if she's worthy of coming out every once in a while."

Suzanne rolled her eyes and interrupted, "I said I like her, not that she gets to intrude on our best-friend-time."

Damon smirked at her but continued, "I need her for my dastardly plot obviously, but yeah, I can feed on other people. Besides, it'll be fun coming up with an outrageous and humiliating favor."

Suzanne let out a low sigh, but was appreciative of the fact that he would go along with her request. She knew he wasn't joking about the last part.

Suzanne really hoped this kid was worth the inevitable embarrassment she'd be experiencing later.

* * *

 _Alright everyone, we are officially going to be seeing some changes from canon because of Suzanne's involvement! Suzamon adventures will be altering the events in Mystic Falls from now on in some minor and major ways. Let me know what you think so far! xx Cheers_


	10. Chapter 10

It had hit Suzanne a few weeks ago that the weirdest aspect of her friendship with Damon was how _not_ weird it was.

Sure, she enjoyed the updates concerning his plan to get Katherine back and how his little brother was reacting to his presence. There were dinners crashed, up-coming balls, and the like. It was sort of progressing like some guilty-pleasure show on the CW, and Suzanne sometimes had to remind herself that the names he mentioned were actual _people_.

But when they weren't talking about the clone/vampire/witch/tomb bullshit going down a few towns over from where Suzanne lived, they functioned together the same way Suzanne assumed normal people did.

Normal people with skewed moral compasses and possible high-functioning alcoholism, but that was beside the point.

The two of them were finishing up dinner at an Italian restaurant on the edge of Mystic Falls, and arguing over the check. But not in the way that one might think.

"Come on, we should pay. I liked our waiter! He was a nice elderly guy and didn't make fun of me when I couldn't pronounce anything correctly, unlike you. He's the one that will get in trouble if we compel him not to charge us. Just use some of the cash you stole anyway."

Damon pouted and rolled his eyes, evidently not about to fight her on the subject. With an overdramatic sigh he slapped a few twenties on the table as they stood and left. Suzanne noted that he had given an enormous tip and leaned over to him, giving a smacking kiss to his cheek that left a smear of red lipstick on his skin.

"Gross, Suze. You have cooties."

Damon was dramatically pawing at his face and looking disgusted. Suzanne snickered under her breath and lightly hip checked him before she said, "At least its not syphilis. Do tell – what old-school venereal diseases did have before your vampirism cured them?"

Damon snorted but when he opened his mouth to speak, Suzanne was struck with a truly brilliant idea.

"Damon. _Damon_. What if your blood can stop an allergic reaction?"

It took a minute for him to get it, but the awed look that covered his face when realization hit mirrored her own.

"You are brilliant. I have no idea if it can, but we can grab someone else with a deathly allergy and see if it works. Suze – are you ready to potentially cross something off of your bucket list?"

The both of them had stopped walking on the way to Damon's car and Suzanne was nearly hopping up and down with excitement when she grabbed his hands and let out an excited shriek.

" _I might get to try a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup!_ "

* * *

Damon stood outside the door of Suze's apartment, trying to figure out what he should do when he entered. She had called him at two in the morning and asked him to just talk to her and stay on the phone. But after a little bit of prodding Damon found out that she'd had a pretty bad nightmare that had caused a panic attack.

Panic attacks weren't really things that were talked about or even labeled as such when he was growing up. If someone had one back then it was chalked up to hysteria. But Damon had been there first hand when Suze had one and knew that it wasn't at all a case of simple hyperventilation. After the one he had witnessed she'd been _off_ the rest of the day. Detached.

So, being the knight in shining armor he was, he'd driven over to her place and was now trying to work out the best way to comfort her.

Caffeine? Suze was a nightmare without it in the morning, but she probably shouldn't be up too long when she had work the next– fuck it. He was making her take work off tomorrow. He'd compelled her manager a while back to switch her shifts whenever he called.

Not that she _knew_ that. Still, it would come in handy tonight.

Booze was probably the best choice to make her spew feelings all over him. Except she was an itty bitty human, so any damage to her liver was woefully permanent. Having a human for a best friend was much more difficult than he had initially thought it would be.

To be honest though, Damon had never planned that this would go so far. Suze was awesome, obviously, but when they had only just become friends he hadn't known that yet. She'd been the entertaining and slightly weird girl he had chosen at random to talk about his plans with.

And Damon had _never_ planned on turning his humanity back on by accident. While driving in the car Suze had turned to him and pointed with a wide smile for him to take over singing the male part of a song she'd been blasting. Just like that, he realized he had flipped his switch without noticing all because of the bitchy, petulant, antisocial woman that he loved and who loved him back.

Of course he'd gone out that night and killed a handful of people after having a tiny existential crisis, but discovered to his delight that bloodshed and chaos was still just as fun with his switch turned firmly 'on'.

And now here he was, standing outside Suze's apartment at two thirty in the morning with a bottle of the terrible vodka she loved and an enormous bag of cherries, because she had really weird comfort food cravings and he could tell over the phone that she was pretty messed up.

The door swung open after only two knocks, and Damon knew right away that coming over had been the right decision. She looked like shit.

"You look like shit."

Suze burst out laughing, but the laughter turned to tears. Not the loud, choking sobs that were always in movies. Her breathing was a bit heavier and tears were filling her eyes. The thing was, Suze didn't _cry_ – she got angry. So Damon knew that she had been downplaying her nightmare.

Damon quickly walked into the kitchen and put down the stuff he'd brought before he drew her into a hug, which she slumped into. After a minute of rubbing her back they separated and Suze roughly wiped the tears off of her face, clearing her throat at the same time.

"Sorry. And you're the best."

Damon smirked at that and raised both of his eyebrows before he responded in a cocky voice, "Oh believe me, I know."

His answer had her laughing again and rolling her eyes, so he counted it as a win. When she stopped laughing she sighed out lowly and hopped onto the counter behind her, swinging her legs back and forth and looking strangely young.

"You know me, I don't get freaked out very easily. Case and point, I can see bloodstains on your collar and my only concern is for your v-neck. But I had a really bad dream about Scott, so I kind of freaked the fuck out."

Damon nodded and wandered over to her, hopping up next to her before nudging her with his shoulder.

"Want to tell me about it?"

Suze shrugged but started to vent almost immediately, clearly needing someone to tell it to.

"To give you some background info, Scotty had cancer when we were teenagers. Acute myeloid leukemia. It was bad, _really_ bad. And I didn't find out until I got back from circus camp over the summer because my parents didn't want me to worry, but by then he looked really sick so it was probably worse. You already know that we were both adopted, and it made me feel really helpless that I didn't even have whatever he would need to be donated or transplanted."

Suze's voice wasn't quite sad, it was just quiet. Tired. But he nodded along and let her finish.

"He's been in remission for eight years. But I had a dream that it was back. I always get scared it will come back, but this one was really realistic. So I just wanted someone to talk to. You didn't have to come over."

Damon reached for her hand and laced their fingers together, not speaking. He couldn't really say anything to make her feel better, because it wasn't like he could do anything. So he decided that distraction and redirection were the way to go.

"You're my best friend. I couldn't just let you wither away with sadness when we could be going out and having a blast. Let's get wasted and see where the night takes us!"

Suze snorted but a smile started covering her face, so he knew she would eventually agree.

"It's a Tuesday, and I have work at nine."

"Not anymore you don't. Your manager switched your shifts. Thank me later."

Suze's laughter was unattractive – there was no way to argue against it. She snorted and practically cackled, while sometimes sounding like an elderly dog barking. But right now, it sounded like the best thing in the world to Damon.

* * *

Suzanne was hungover. So very, _very_ hungover. But her thoughts weren't focused on that. All she could do was stare at the body on her living room floor.

Damon stood next to her silently. He had wandered in complaining about not remembering the end of their night, but when he had seen what she was looking at he also stopped where he stood and also gone quiet.

The carpet was stained just beside the body and in the back of her mind Suzanne wondered if she had any carpet cleaner. The eyes were lightly closed, and there was one less limb than there should be attached to its torso. The gender was impossible to tell.

"Damon, this is bad."

Damon nodded in response to her whisper and sounded fairly incredulous when he replied, "We've done a lot of weird shit, and I've done a lot of bad things, but this seems worse than usual."

Suzanne was trying not to panic, but her own voice went high pitched and frantic when she said, "This _is_ worse than usual! I am going to the worst circle of hell. I literally can't remember how this happened, and I don't think I want to remember how this happened."

Damon cocked his head to the side and walked over to it, crouching next to it and sizing it up.

"It's not too bad when you really look at it. Sort of cute."

Suzanne threw her hands up in exasperation before finally yelling back, "I don't care how _cute_ it is! I can't afford another dog! Damon, we _stole a fucking three legged puppy!_ "

At the sound of her voice, the puppy in question bolted upward, apparently wide awake. It's tongue was sticking out and it's tail immediately began wagging.

Damon reached forward and patted its head. When the dog began gnawing on his fingers, he nodded decisively as if making up his mind.

"I like it. Boy or girl, I vote we name it Killer."

Suzanne really didn't understand how this was her life.

* * *

 _Hey everyone! To address a few things:_

 _This will not ever be Suzanne/Damon in a romantic relationship._

 _Suzanne will have a pairing, and Damon will as well. Hint for Damon's : a snarky young adult who will be able to keep up with Damon and Suzanne when they go out and do shots._

 _As always, please review and let me know what you think. Thanks, lovelies xx_


	11. Chapter 11

Suzanne suddenly straightened her back, sitting upright in an uncomfortable position on her couch as something felt _wrong_.

No. _Fuck_ no. Suzanne had her own, entirely mundane shit to deal with today. She had no time for supernatural shenanigans and bullshit. It was the weekend, for Christ's sake. All she had wanted from the day was to watch some Buffy to pray at the altar of Sarah Michelle Gellar and take her dogs for a long walk in the rare Fall sunshine.

That was a whole other issue to deal with. Suzanne now had to cohabitate with a second animal. Damon was paying for all of the supplies Killer required – and fuck, she _despised_ that the name had immediately stuck – but it was still a bitch to train a puppy. And a chore to take it to the vet, though Damon had done her a solid and compelled the vet's office to create all of the documents that would be necessary.

So now she officially had a fucking three-legged puppy who the vet had guessed was about ten weeks old. The dog was a 'she' and a mutt that was probably part German Shepherd and part Labrador. And apparently, the puppy was a permanent fixture in her life for the next ten-to-twelve-years.

Suzanne had made Damon try it out, but no, compelling dogs to not pee on her fucking carpet _didn't_ work.

While she tried to figure out what it was that was giving her major uh-oh feelings, she was distracted by her phone going off. The ring tone "Hollaback Girl" let Suzanne know immediately that it was Caroline who was calling her. Normally she'd be thrilled to chat with the girl instead of deal with some vampire-related drama, but she'd been hearing all week about the high school girl's "Sexy Suds" car wash happening today, so it was incredibly unusual.

"What's up, Caroline?"

"I am _trying_ to take advantage of male hormones to raise money and can't keep wandering off to track you down on the phone. So can you _please_ go to the boarding house and figure out why Damon is yelling at me through my brain? And how is he doing this? Because if he can read my mind or something I am royally screwed –"

Suzanne was zoning out at that point. She hadn't heard from Damon for the last four days, since the night of the Founders' Ball he crashed with Caroline. He'd sent her a text to say he was heading home and going to grab a townie to eat, and that had been that. She hadn't been worried at all – she'd assumed that he was as busy as she was and would come by at some point today or tomorrow.

But if he was trying to use the connection to Caroline, something was wrong. Damon had told her that their connection would be incredibly slight seeing as he had only performed some minor compulsion, so his magical batteries would be draining pretty quickly.

"Sure, sure. Get back to taking advantage of male objectification."

Caroline laughed, seemingly not offended at being interrupted, and said, "Taking down the patriarchy one bikini at a time. Bye, Suze!" before hanging up quickly.

With an incredibly reluctant sigh, Suzanne turned off the television and walked into the kitchen, grabbing her keys. Just as she stepped out of the door of her apartment and into the hallway, she stopped.

She couldn't leave Killer at home, what with the puppy still not getting on board with the _you-don't-pee-on-Suzanne's-stuff_ lecture. God damnit. Alright, then. She was off to rescue her pet vampire with two canine trusty sidekicks, like some knock off Velma.

* * *

Suzanne had been over to the Salvatore Boarding House a few times in the last couple of weeks. Only when Damon had been sure that Stefan or the human descendant weren't there. But now Suzanne stared at the unfamiliar parked car in the driveway and wanted to bash Damon's face in.

Whatever stupid situation he was in was probably going to be 100 times more complicated than she had assumed, especially if Zach was in the house and not doing anything to help his vampire-ancestor out. But alas, there was nothing for Suzanne to do other than sneak in and snoop. Hardly a fool-proof plan.

To make things even more complicated, she couldn't just leave her dogs in the car. Suzanne wasn't a complete psychopath – at least not when it came to things she liked. So she would have to sneak into the house with two animals wandering around. Piece of fucking cake.

Damon Salvatore was going to owe her _big time_.

Slipping inside the house itself was easy. But immediately Suzanne could hear Zachary tapping away at a computer in a side room she assumed was his office. The first place she had to check was Damon's bedroom, to see what the hell was going on. Unfortunately, when she had tip toed half way up the stair case, one of the steps let out a loud 'creak'.

The clear sounds of someone standing up and beginning to walk over to the foyer to investigate began. Suzanne was frozen, not wanting to move and cause any more noise, but also needing to get the fuck out of there or come up with some kind of –

All hell broke loose. And for once, it _wasn't_ Suzanne or Damon's fault.

Maniacal barking and the sound of breaking pottery echoed out from the back yard of the Salvatore house. Immediately Zach began swearing and seemingly ran out to see what was going on. To Suzanne's immense amusement, the sound of a grown man shouting added to the cacophony of sound her apparently gloriously useful dogs were creating.

There was nothing suspicious in Damon's room. Which was in and of itself not a good sign. It meant he was probably somewhere else. 'Somewhere' being the creepy dungeon basement that he had showed her housed the blood bags he drank when he was too lazy to go out people-hunting.

Suzanne was careful as she walked across the ground floor, keeping an eye out for the resident human. But when she peeked through a window she saw the man trying to sweep up an overturned flowerpot while simultaneously shooing her dogs away with exaggerated hand gestures.

When Suzanne finally began walking down the stairs, she heard a low groan. She purposely walked down the stairs at a slow pace, and began talking in a slow drawl.

"If I didn't know any better I'd say a certain moron I'm quite fond of has found himself in –"

However, the mocking smile that covered Suzanne's face immediately dropped when she finally found the right door and peered inside.

Damon looked… sick, was probably the closest word. He looked clammy and pale. The reason was immediately clear – Suzanne recognized an enormous amount of vervain right next to him. Damon had given her a sprig of it a few weeks ago and she had put it in a ring, an anklet, and a necklace - afterword she'd researched what the actual plant itself looked like.

This was – this wasn't _funny_ at all. This was _torture_.

"Oh my god. Oh fuck, one second, give me – just give me a second."

Suzanne took a minute to wrench the huge door open and dropped to her knees right away, cradling Damon's face in her hands.

"Damon, Damon you've got to talk to me. Are you okay? What can I do?"

His head was lolling around, and when he opened his eyes to squint at her he seemed deliriously confused.

"What're you doin' here, Suze? I thought I asked Blondie-"

"Caroline called me and let me know something was wrong. What –" Suzanne's voice cracked as tears filled her eyes at the sight of her best friend, "- _happened_ to you?"

Damon seemed to be a little bit more lucid and groaned in pain before shifting to sit more upright. After breathing heavily for a minute he answered, "Stefan thought I was drinking out of Caroline, so when he gave her vervain it didn't work. He wound up catching me and injecting me with a _fuck ton_ of it. Did it again last night. Pretty proud of his plot to turn me into a mummy."

Rage flooded through Suzanne. Stefan was a goddamn _monster_. What he was doing to Damon was torture. Instead of trying to summon any words, Suzanne let out an angry breath and tried to calm herself down. She was of no use to anybody if she wasn't thinking clearly.

After gently carding her fingers through his sweaty hair she pressed a light kiss to his forehead and said, "Don't worry, you're fine now. I'm going to go and grab you some blood, okay?"

Suzanne stood up and immediately went over to the refrigerator on the other end of the cellar, grabbing as many random blood bags as she could carry and running back over. Damon didn't seem to be breathing between gulps as he tore into them one by one. As soon as he was strong enough, Suzanne helped him get to his feet and walk out of the room that was weakening him.

The two of them took a while, but eventually crossed the basement until Suzanne found a chair for him to sit on right next to the open storage of blood bags.

It was strangely fascinating, watching him tear into the bags one after the other. The amount of liquid in his body didn't really seem possible, but Damon just kept finding somewhere to put it.

When he was finally sated and looking _much_ better, the two of them rose and started walking up the stairs.

"Hell of a rescue mission, Suze. You're good at the knight in shining armor gig."

Suzanne would have really liked to say tears didn't come to her eyes, but they did. It was scary to know that he had been in so much pain while she had been going about her daily life. They hadn't spoken for almost a _week_. When he hadn't answered her texts she'd been genuinely unconcerned, and was expecting him to drop by at some point this weekend. If he hadn't, warning bells would have gone off – but it wouldn't have been soon enough. Something like this couldn't happen again.

"Yeah, well, you know me. Always fighting against those patriarchal gender roles."

Damon laughed and it sounded fairly close to normal. When they stepped out of the basement staircase, their conversation was immediately cut off by a terrified Zach Salvatore.

"No! No! Get out of here. Run! Run!"

Damon was on him in a second, only taking a brief flick of his wrists to snap the man's neck.

Suzanne stared at the body on the floor. She had just watched a man die. That was a _corpse_ she was looking at. But to be honest –

"Good."


	12. Chapter 12

Damon stared down at the drugged out girl at his feet. He'd just given the Donovan chick his blood – figured if someone fought that hard to live after he'd slaughtered everyone in the clearing they deserved it. But now there was the question of what to _do_ with her.

For a brief moment he considered bringing her back to the Boarding House and spending the day partying with her – it'd be nice having a fresh human to drink from all day.

But after a moment of consideration, he decided to forgo the idea. After all, Suze got off work in a few hours since she'd be finishing up the night shift. She'd promised to come over and visit at some point during the day after finding out he'd be stuck in the shadows, and he got the feeling Suze would _not get along with_ this particular high school girl.

 _Fuck,_ he owed Suze. The kind of debt he could never pay back. For all of his bravado, Damon had been panicking at the thought of desiccating and starving for however long Stefan decided. And wasn't _that_ awful – his little brother was the one who would be essentially torturing him.

And Suze had saved him. With absolutely no expectations for payment or any kind of reward – she just did it because she loved him.

It was still something he was getting used to. The idea that somebody loved him for who he was, asshole-qualities and all. Sure, they fought and sometimes would bitch at each other, but she really was the person he trusted most –

Oh, fuck.

 _Katherine_. How had he been forgetting her? And furthermore, how the hell had he not been thinking about what would happen after he got Katherine back? Suze was on board for releasing Katherine from her prison. And she knew all about his plan to get back together with Katherine and had begrudgingly come around to support him with backhanded encouragement – she was such a bitch sometimes, he loved it – but she wasn't a big fan of the _idea_ of Katherine, still paranoid that she'd been manipulating him or something.

And Katherine – she didn't care about humans, and for all of her selfishness, she could be incredibly jealous when she wasn't getting attention. Would she hurt Suze? That wasn't even an option. Damon would convince Katherine to leave her be. And who knew, maybe the girls would get along.

That, or tear each other the hell apart.

Damon decided to put that train of thought on the back burner and get back to the issues he had to deal with in the moment. So with one last glance down at the still-unconscious but now-healed girl, Damon began whistling and strutted away, brainstorming how he would torment his brother into giving him his daylight ring back.

Unbeknownst to him, two hours later Vicki Donovan would wake up and flee back to her house, where she would accidentally overdose on pills with his blood in her system.

* * *

The Gilbert residence seemed like the best place to go to find his little bro to _get his ring back_ , considering Stefan hadn't been by the Boarding House all day. Suze had only been able to stay for two hours, and since she'd brought over Louie and Killer the time had passed quickly as they played catch with the dogs using Stefan's belongings.

Of course Killer was still a puppy and couldn't be blamed for chewing up Stefan's valuables. _Suc_ h a tragedy.

When he rung the doorbell, rocking on the balls of his feet, he could honestly say he was a bit surprised at the overly hostile reaction he received. Fear, he understood, since he'd already guessed that Stefan had told Elena about what they were. But she seemed pissed off about something and self righteousness was practically dripping off of her.

"Hey, there's no need to be rude. I'm just looking for Stefan. May I come in? Oh, wait. Of course I can. I've been invited. We can cut to the chase if you want. I'm not gonna kill you right now. That wouldn't serve my greater agenda. So… where's Stefan?"

The answer she gave was very, very unexpected.

"He's out looking for Vicki."

She seemed to be looking at him expectantly, and the deliberate way she was talking obviously had some double meaning. At the moment, Damon could give a fuck. He just wanted his goddamn ring back.

"White Trash Barbie isn't really on my list of things I care about. Where. Is. He?"

Elena seemed even more pissed at his answer, which – the hell? Was he _supposed_ to be interested in yet another random high school student? Pretending he and Caroline were spending time together was work enough, to his knowledge there wasn't any reason Elena and Stefan should think he cared about Donovan.

"How can you just act like you didn't do anything wrong? You're putting so many people in danger! Did you ever thank Katherine for what she did to you?"

Alright. That was it. With an annoyed huff and roll of his eyes, Damon stepped toward Elena and pressed her against the wall with his forearm against her throat but exerting no pressure – not at all restricting her airways. It was a clear statement anyway.

"Do _not_ talk to me about Katherine. Just because you know what we are doesn't make you an expert on the Salvatore family. Explain what you're talking about, before I decide your brother makes a good snack pack."

Her eyes widened and fear flashed across her face, but Elena's voice only trembled slightly when she said, "You turned Vicki into a vampire. She was at my _house_ and could have hurt Jeremy."

Damon stepped back, releasing the girl completely. This was not at all a part of his dastardly plans – in fact, this seemed like it would be a huge clusterfuck of complications. A drug addict did not a sane vampire make. _He_ was the monster in this town, there wasn't room for some crazy baby vamp and he already had a fucking awesome partner in crime. Now he had to make sure Vicki was out of the picture after saving her sorry ass less than a day ago.

"Actually, I was Prince Charming and healed her up – after almost draining her, obviously. But its not my problem the girl died, so have fun dealing with that. And tell my brother I'm looking for him. Oh, tip for later, be careful who you invite in the house."

Before he left, he saw Elena's expression of shock – clearly realizing he was being serious.

Damon could give a shit. He had to find his brother.

* * *

 _Approximately two weeks later_

"Wait – you're telling me that the drug addicted teenage girl isn't doing very well with her vampirism? _Shocker_. Really, who could have seen this coming?"

Damon laughed and took her coffee from her, immediately throwing it back to chug what remained. Suzanne knew for a fucking _fact_ that he didn't even like coffee all that much. He was just being a dick. She kicked him under her kitchen table but before she could ream him out or demand he make her more, he answered her half-joking question.

"The worst part is Stefan and Elena seem to think I should take responsibility for it. Like its my fault she OD'ed when she happened to have vamp blood in her system. I was being downright benevolent. Last time I do something nice for a stranger."

Suzanne hummed to herself, thinking over what was going on in Mystic Falls. It seemed like anything that could go wrong there _was_ going wrong there. And the more and more she heard about the will-they-won't-they teen couple Damon had to be around, the more second hand annoyance she felt on his behalf.

Suzanne got viciously defensive when people insulted her choice in _breakfast cereal_ , she would hardly last with some teenagers insulting her every action like Stefan and Elena seemed to do with Damon. Seriously – he was a vampire. They had to get the fuck over the body count.

…Yes, Suzanne having sociopathic qualities was still very much a possibility she considered.

This topic was getting a little boring to her, if she was being honest. Damon's drama was usually fun, but there had been a lull in actual action. For now it was sort of a waiting game until he could get Katherine free. And they had much more important things to discuss.

"We need to finalize our decision on Halloween costumes from the ones I've outlined. It's only twelve days away." Seeing his mouth open, Suzanne cut him off, "And if you say you're going as a vampire, I will murder you. It's my _favorite_ holiday. We're celebrating my birthday two weeks late to focus on this. This should totally be up your alley!"

Damon snorted but seemed to actually consider her question when he said, "What were my options again? We're coordinating, right? And I'm assuming we're still going to that rave the new surgical interns are throwing."

Suzanne nodded and immediately listed off, "Hades and Hecate, Sid and Nancy, Psycho doctors – and _yes_ you can use real blood, Devils, or Angels if we want to be ironic."

Damon squinted at her and was silent for a minute as he thought it over before finally saying, "Let's go with Sid and Nancy. You own four leather jackets and I've only seen you wear one of them."

"It's been too warm! But yeah, I like it. If you stab me then kill yourself though to 'get into character' I swear to fuck I'll haunt your ass and cockblock you for eternity."

"I acknowledge your statement, and will take it into consideration."

* * *

 _THINGS WILL BE QUICKLY DIVERGING FROM CANON_

 _Also - the timeline for the Vampire Diaries is super confusing and fucked up: after Vicki turns, the Halloween episode is one full month later... did she just not attend school or have a search going on for her? So from now on I'll move around events to tie into my story._

 _One more thing: not sure where people got the idea Damon's pairing would be an OC, the endgame I've got planned for him now is very much alive on the show (the pairing is not one many people ship, mostly because it's a bit unusual - feel free to guess!)_

 _As always, let me know what you think! Thanks, lovelies! xx_


	13. Chapter 13

Stefan looked down at his phone, dreading the call he had to make. But honestly – this was a really, really bad situation. Vicki going stir-crazy and then attending a Halloween dance surrounded by drunk teenagers was not going to end well, especially when she had her sights set on Jeremy specifically. Things with Elena were already incredibly precarious – a vampire hurting her brother would not help his fight to be together with her.

Damon had been surprisingly distant concerning Vicki Donovan. He'd only interacted with her a few times in the last few weeks – the first conversation they'd had after she turned consisted of Stefan insisting they meet, and Damon saying in no uncertain terms that it wasn't his problem she OD'ed. He'd come by the Boarding House a few times during the day – usually to egg Vicki on and provoke her, apparently finding it hilarious when she tried to attack him.

But otherwise, Damon only really came by to sleep – and not even every night. Damon being distant meant one thing in Stefan's mind: he was up to something. When he had stalked through the house in a foul mood a few days before Stefan had been worried that a pile of bodies would be reported the next day.

Stefan had no way of knowing of course that Damon's bad mood was because Killer had apparently decided Suzanne was the 'alpha' between the two of them.

But right now, he had to reach out to his brother. And worse – ask for help. Damon would probably jump at the chance to come over and gloat about being needed, demanding a favor in return. Sure enough, his brother picked up after only two rings.

"Steff-aay, what's got you callin' me?"

Damon was heavily slurring and incredibly loud dubstep was playing in the background. Stefan was surprised – he and Damon hadn't been around one another since the nineties but he wouldn't have pegged Damon as somebody who would have liked that sort of music.

"I need your help at the high school. Vicki is out of control and - "

"Nope," he practically popped the word in his mouth, "Busy."

Stefan's mouth almost dropped open. He'd been relying on the fact that Damon would want in and now… well, now he was sort of screwed.

"Are you seriously not jumping at the chance to hold something over me?"

Before Damon responded a high pitched voice shouted loudly in the background of the call, close enough to Damon's phone that Stefan could make out every slurred word.

"C'mon, Sid, you shithead! We gotta win the glow-in-the-dark Jell-o shot contest! We can't fucking lose to _Edward and Bella_!"

"My lady beckons. Happy Halloweekend!"

Stefan felt like the dial tone that immediately sounded out was mocking him.

* * *

"I saw you bring that girl home last night. She hasn't left and it's almost eleven. Is she dead?"

Damon groaned and turned to face Stefan, not at all in the mood to deal with him. It figured the first time Suzanne slept over while Stefan was also home his little brother decided to intervene. Shouldn't Stefan be in a better mood? His birthday was in a few days and a week ago on Halloween he'd killed Vicki - problem solved, loose end tied up! And Damon had been generous enough to compel Little Gilbert the next day, for a favor in return obviously.

All week Suzanne had insisted that her birthday deserved to be celebrated twice so they could get drunk over the weekend, and of course they went to the Springfield Social and stayed out until one-thirty, at which point they had come back to the Boarding House.

And they had proceeded to get really, _really_ drunk.

From what he could still remember, they had stopped playing Twister at three in the morning at which point she had dared him to chug a bottle of shitty vodka in under thirty seconds. Suzanne had fallen asleep face first on his bed with her heels still on, and this morning he had woken up to her being the big spoon and drooling on his shoulder.

"Oh, she's going to wish she was dead."

Stefan immediately looked alarmed, so Damon cut him off before he started preaching, "She drank her weigh in booze, so I'm assuming she'll be hung over as hell."

The timing truly could not have been better when a thump echoed down from Damon's room, followed by a surprised shriek and a loud shout of, "Mother _fucker_."

Before either of them could comment on what was very clearly the sound of a woman falling off of a bed, they were interrupted by a knock on the door. Without further warning, the door swung open to reveal Elena.

She was _entirely_ too righteous to deal with when his own hangover was this severe.

Of course Stefan immediately shifted his attention to the new addition and his scowl disappeared. The two on-the-rocks-will-they-won't-they-sort-of lovebirds started talking seriously, already in their own world – one he was all too happy to avoid.

Unfortunately for Stefan and Elena, the moment was ruined when they all heard his favorite human the moment she finally left his bedroom with a literal bang as Suzanne proceeded to throw open his door much too quickly. Damon winced as he heard the low crack of the doorknob going through the wall of the hallway.

"Oops."

Suzanne then shouted down in a croaking voice, "Sorry, Damon!" before she shuffled into sight, yawning widely and stretching her arms over her head as she began to slowly walk down the stairs while leaning heavily on the banister.

She looked like the definition of a walk of shame. Of course she and Damon hadn't had sex so the usual meaning didn't fit, but he figured she _should_ be ashamed of how terrible she was at Twister what with all the yoga she did.

Elena whipped her head in his direction and a judging look tinged with disgust took over what had previously been a smile. In a disdainful tone she whispered, "Really, Damon? You can't just use people whenever you want! People aren't toys!"

Without waiting for his response, she strode over to Suzanne, who had just reached the bottom of the stairs and was wincing while rubbing her temples.

"Are you okay, did he hurt you? Do you need us to help or-"

Suzanne's eyes widened comically, and when paired with her tangled hair and massively smudged eye makeup the overall effect was hilarious. Damon started snickering under his breath, and Suzanne shot him a brief annoyed look before turning back to Elena.

"I'm going to need you to step back. My head hurts and your misplaced concern is splitting my brain in half. I haven't even had fucking coffee yet."

Elena's mouth dropped open, and not for the first time Damon wondered if anyone had ever talked down to her. Everyone in this town seemed to _adore_ Elena Gilbert. But Suzanne wasn't exactly normal, and putting a girl eight years younger than her in her place was not something that would phase her.

Suzanne turned to Damon and raised her eyebrows expectantly before saying in a hopeful tone, "Caffeinate me? Pretty please?"

Damon smirked in response and bowed before saying in a mockingly gallant tone, "Your wish is my command, princess."

She shot him a fond, genuine smile and followed him into the kitchen, where Damon had already brewed a pot of coffee. He walked up to the cabinet where the mugs were kept and handed her one, which she proceeded to fill nearly to the brim.

Immediately Suzanne lifted it up and took a deep inhale through her nose, sighing with bliss at the smell. Stefan and Elena entered the kitchen, but before either of them could say a word she turned to Damon, wrinkled her nose in distaste and asked, "Scale of one to 2007 Britney Spears, how terrible do I look at the moment?"

He paused to appraise her, looking at her head to toe. She'd taken off her heels, but kept on the tight black dress she'd worn out last night, though she'd thrown one of his t shirts on over it.

Looking a bit closer Damon noted with amusement that it was the John Varvatos shirt Stefan had ruined after throwing a letter opener at him. Suzanne had almost choked from laughing too hard when he'd told her that story, so it wasn't exactly a surprise that she had apparently claimed it for herself.

"I'd say Pamela Anderson after her second round of Botox."

With a loud groan she theatrically threw herself onto one of the stools at the island in the center of their kitchen and groaned, "Woe is me."

Damon, knowing it would confuse Stefan and Elena even more than they already were by the situation, walked over and patted her cheek, cooing, "Aw Suze, at least you have a mediocre sense of humor, it's okay if you're ugly."

At this it Stefan seemed to be unable to hold back anymore and said in a demanding voice, "What did you do to her? You can't just compel every girl in Mystic Falls-"

Suzanne waved him off and said in a bored tone, "Don't make conjectures. First of all, I'm not from Mystic Falls, I'm from Springfield. It's like three towns over. Secondly, I'm twenty-five, and I'd prefer that the feminine descriptor you use to talk about me as if I'm not here is 'woman' or 'your majesty'. Thanks in advance, douche. And three, if you're under the assumption that Damon has the privilege of tapping this fine ass you're mistaken. We're platonic life partners."

Elena was gaping behind Stefan and Damon had trouble keeping a smile off of his face.

Suzanne wasn't done though, and adopted a pissed off look as she glared at Stefan and Elena and continued, " _Christ_ , you two. I know it must be hard for you darling little angels to believe, but Damon can have friends without hypnotizing them." She held up her hand for a high five for solidarity without looking back at him and Damon took an immense amount of smug pleasure in high fiving her back.

Elena seemed even more concerned than before and Damon couldn't control the anger that settled in his stomach. Suzanne was the first person he could recall who didn't hesitate to fight tooth and nail on his behalf. Even when his decisions genuinely bothered her she supported him for who he really was and _never_ asked him to change who he was at all. And he knew with absolute certainty he would do the same. Elena and Stefan implying that he was hurting her was enraging. _He_ was the one who would kill anyone that tried to hurt her.

Elena spoke hesitantly and seemed to be trying to soothe her when she said, "So you know about… what he is? He's dangerous."

Suzanne only raised her eyebrows and made a show of taking a long gulp from her mug without verbally answering. Her slight flinch let Damon know that she'd just burned her tongue, but Suzanne was too stubborn to show it.

Deciding he wanted to hurry this little interrogation along, Damon sped over to her until he stood by her side, transforming his face and leaning in to her neck before he made a show of fake biting her, complete with melodramatic chomping and slurping sounds.

Completely deadpan she said, "Ah. Vampires exist."

Suzanne shoved him away before looking back at them and saying in a completely serious voice, "Yes. I know what he is. And from what Damon has told me, you're friendly with a vampire yourself. So avert those judgy little doe eyes if you please. I'm already resentful of your fresh faced appearance and struggling not to lash out in a show of immaturity."

Without giving either of them a chance to respond, Suzanne turned back to Damon and stood up from the stool, stretching before picking up her mug once more.

"I'm pretty sure I'm still drunk, so I'm gonna head back up to your room. I have Netflix on my phone, so I insist we watch _Scrubs_ once you come back upstairs. If you bring bagels I'll love you forever."

Damon let out a fake dramatic gasp and said in a scandalized voice, "But Miss Sinclair, I was sure you pledged your devotion to your seductively mysterious cellular lover!"

Suzanne didn't respond and continued walking. But when Suzanne was halfway up the stairs, she turned back to look at the three and called out in a mocking voice.

"Stefan, I made an itty bitty hole in your wall. I assume you know how to deal with home repairs? Good."

* * *

 _Don't get used to such quick updates! I've had the second half written for months - couldn't wait to post it. Review pretty please xx_


	14. Chapter 14

She was beautiful – long blonde hair, trendy clothes. _And_ was paying for Suzanne's shots. Damon had already gotten up to leave, plotting away behind the Grill. Even though he promised he'd be back after 'making himself look like a white knight in front of the sheriff', it still sucked to be alone at an unfamiliar bar.

He was originally only supposed to have taken a few minutes, but he'd called her that morning to let her know that his plans had changed and might take a little longer than expected since 'a certain blonde BFF reminded me too much of a different blonde BFF.'

 _Such_ a cryptic little shit.

Anyway, Alex was definitely fun company to keep. Suzanne had been lonely lately, she could admit it. Obvious interest from the woman was a welcome distraction, even if she did seem a little young. But she'd been served at the bar, so Suzanne assumed she was at least 21.

"So who was that guy you were with earlier? Nobody I have to compete with, do I?"

Alex leaned forward and placed her hand on Suzanne's forearm.

Suzanne shook her head and smiled widely, shrugging and replying honestly, "No, he's my best friend. Dragged me out tonight but is temporarily ditching me."

The woman's smile became a little bit more strained but she seemed to be trying to appear nonchalant when she said, "Really? So he's coming back? How long have you guys been friends?"

Something was up. Suzanne was pretty much a pro at deflection and twisting words to get what she wanted, and Alex was prodding her for information.

Deciding to test out her hypothesis, Suzanne decided to keep the conversation going to see if the woman would still go after the same subject.

"Yeah, just taking care of some business. And we're platonic life partners."

Alex looked a little bit alarmed before saying in a falsely light voice, "Oh, really?"

 _Bingo_.

Suzanne looked around, scanning the bar to see if anything seemed off. Only a second of perusing later, she spotted Stefan watching the two of them, a fondly exasperated look when he watched Alex that turned into a frown when he turned and saw that Suzanne was looking at him.

Suzanne felt the tell-tale tightening of her throat. Why the _fuck_ should she have expected any different. The hurt – it just sucked.

Looking straight forward at the bar, Suzanne kept her voice even when she slowly said, "Fuck. You. Are you even gay?"

Alex – that _definitely_ wasn't her name – seemed to tense, drawing her hand back.

"He isn't the guy you think he is. And people can't tell when they're being compelled, believe me. Stefan told me – "

"Oh, and the Ripper gets to deal out judgments?"

The woman seemed to get a little bit angry and said, "You don't know anything about Stefan. He isn't the guy that – "

"So what is it? Did he hurt someone you love? Fuck and chuck you?"

The woman flinched, and Suzanne saw out of the corner of her eye Stefan coming over looking pissed off.

Instead of sticking around for the drama, Suzanne shoved back from the bar and turned to leave. However, just before making her exit she turned to look at the other blonde and spoke in a scathing tone.

"I'm not being compelled. Unlike the morons who walk around with an itty bit of vervain in some jewelry that can be _taken off_ I mixed it with India ink. The tattoo artist didn't mind using my own blend."

Finally Suzanne stalked towards the door. She'd text Damon to let him know that she'd left.

* * *

Suzanne got home, and proceeded to drink alone until it looked like she had two dogs sitting on either side of her on the couch instead of one. The two of them were both very affectionate dogs, thank god, because if _they_ had shied away from her petting she would be drunkenly bawling.

There had to be something wrong with her. Yeah, she liked one night stands, but at least she went home with people she _liked_. What the hell was it that made her so unlikable? Well - considering she didn't usually act like a bitch right away to people she met.

Looking down at her phone, Suzanne made the conscious choice to make a Bad Decision.

In a week she had to haul ass to Boston to go to court for a speeding ticket that she'd gotten while visiting her parents. While jamming the fuck out to "Unwritten" she didn't realize she went thirty over the speed limit. She could give a shit about the fine, but she couldn't afford the points on her license so she had decided to suck it up and try to get an appeal.

Nick had said he'd be in Boston for a month or so, and she hadn't told him that she would as well, unsure if she wanted to meet up with him again. Looking down at her phone, she typed off a quick text before sending it off.

 _Going to be in Boston next week. Clear a time in your schedule for the stranger that harassed you in New York City?_

* * *

Jenna was an adult. And adults should have their own friends. But ever since getting dragged back to Mystic Falls –

Oh god. That wasn't – that sounded _so bad_ , even in her head. She couldn't put it into words, though, how she felt about all that had happened. Of course when she found out her big sister and her brother in law were dead, she'd been devastated. She was the last of the Sommers family.

But she wasn't ready for all of this. Jeremy was spiraling and Elena pulled away more and more every day. Jenna wasn't an _adult_. She liked drinking and sleeping with strangers and _she hadn't asked for this_. Obviously not the death of Miranda and Grayson, and not the responsibility of being an authority figure.

She didn't want kids. Of course when anyone found that out they immediately told Jenna that she would change her mind. But it wasn't that simple. It wasn't the pregnancy or giving birth that freaked her out. She just didn't want to be a mom, and she figured bringing an unwanted kid into the world was the cruelest thing she could do.

Jenna was shaken from her wandering thoughts when she saw Caroline Forbes at the bar of the Mystic Grill. She was _much_ too young for this, and one of Elena's best friends. So, Jenna sucked it up and decided to approach her.

"What's a high school junior doing nursing her sorrows at the Mystic Grill?"

Caroline turned to look at her and sighed melodramatically before slurring, "My life sucks."

And… okay. Jenna was officially not equipped to deal with this. However, trying to figure out what was going on, she decided to play therapist.

"Is this about your boyfriend Elena told me about? She'd pointed Damon Salvatore out to me before and I saw him getting close to a blonde girl earlier tonight. Guys suck."

To her surprise, Caroline snorted and waved her off with a grin on her face.

"Oh god, no. That's Suzanne, she's the best. _Ever_ , for real. And Damon and I aren't actually together. I just act like we're having sex when I'm around my friends."

Caroline froze immediately after she said that. Turning to Jenna with a frantic look on her face, she blurted out, "You can't tell anyone that. Especially Elena. I know you're her aunt, but _please."_

Jenna held up her hands and tried to calm her down when she said, "Whoa, it's no problem, it's none of my business, I won't. But why are you doing that?"

Caroline sighed and looked down at her glass, pouting when she said, "I was jealous of Elena being with Stefan, so I wanted the other brother. But he said I was too young. Suzanne is his best friend, we mostly hang out when everyone thinks I'm with Damon."

Jenna nodded and tried to look understanding. However a second later she couldn't keep up the ruse and said, "That's weird."

Caroline shrugged, and answered in a relaxed tone, "It's kind of nice, getting to pretend. And Damon is nice to me, even though I'm pretty sure Suzanne told him to be."

Jenna was quiet, and simply tipped her glass to the high school girl before drinking and _holy fuck she was a terrible role model_.

However when she saw Damon enter the bar and look around with a confused expression she couldn't deny her spark of interest.

Who the hell _was_ this guy, really?


	15. Chapter 15

Klaus was slowly trailing his fingers down Suzanne's bare skin, watching as the sleeping woman's back lifted and fell slowly with deep, even breaths. She had a few tattoos on her back – innocuous simple images as well as quotations he was unfamiliar with. There was an instinctive curiosity as to what they meant, but for now his fingertips only barely brushed their edges.

He was currently trying to decide if the wisest decision would be to kill her before she woke.

It had been clear within the first few minutes after they had met in a bar for a drink that the two of them would be ending up on a bed. Or any decently comfortable and horizontal surface, he supposed. Klaus wasn't very picky when it came to _where_ he shagged girls. Though the large, soft bed in the apartment he rented was a fairly ideal choice now that he was sprawled across this morning.

Her opening line after seeing him last night had been "I sent you that text when I was drunk and lonely. Heads up."

From then on it had been a fun evening, relaxed enough that he had been able to let his guard down a bit. There was little pressure to being 'Nick', and Suzanne was certainly sharp enough to hold his attention. There hadn't been much pretense to the night. Klaus certainly wasn't looking for any sort of long-term relationship, and the woman who now slept next to him made it clear she felt the same.

There was a script of sorts, when you were trying to woo someone into bed – predictable and reliable lines that made it clear to the other person what your intent was. And it had been Suzanne that charged through it.

She had been different in bed than Klaus had been expecting. With her brashness and harsh sarcasm only occasionally tempered with lighter humor, he'd predicted that she would be the loud sort who made sex into a performance. Instead, Suzanne had been nearly the opposite.

Quiet, breathy, accidental moans and suppressed whimpers had been the majority of sounds she'd made. Only after particularly well timed moves of his did he manage to get a few cries of his name. Well, his less-common nickname at least.

It had been good, maybe even great. But when she had begun drifting off as he rubbed her back, the edge of his palm had glanced on one of the tattoos decorating her upper ribs.

The burn of vervain where normal ink should have been had been unexpected, and it was only because of the pain he had endured throughout the years that he had not flinched or done anything to betray that he had been harmed.

He had been less worried about a burn that healed in half a second than he had been about the fact that the woman he had been talking to and then slept with had a tattoo that somehow encompassed vervain. Objectively, it was a brilliant move – to have vervain somewhere on a mortal body where it could not simply be removed like in the case of jewelry or some other adornment. But now Klaus was wracking his brain for everything he had ever told Suzanne, and if anything could have betrayed his plans or any of his secrets. He didn't know very much about her, and even as he picked apart everything he had said to her Klaus realized that the details of his life he had shared would have been impossible to connect to his real identity.

It was made obvious by her tattoo that Suzanne knew about the supernatural, but it would have been foolish to sleep with a vampire without any sort of safety. So she had not made the connection that _he_ was a vampire.

Before Klaus could reach any conclusion regarding whether or not he should simply snap Suzanne's neck before she woke up, she began to stir.

Maybe it was because of his heightened sense of importance regarding the current situation, but Klaus could honestly say he was let down a bit somehow by what followed.

Suzanne eyes opened but immediately narrowed to a squint while she stretched out her spine, still sprawled on her stomach. When she finally focused on Klaus, she gave a small, strangely shy smile before she glanced behind him at the sun which was now only just rising over the Boston sky line. Seeing the sky and drawing her own conclusions regarding the time, Suzanne spoke.

"What the _fuck,_ too early, Nick."

And after sleepily slurring her few words, she threw herself onto the other side of the bed and shoved her face into a pillow, immediately falling back asleep. So, it seemed like Klaus had a while longer to ponder what to do.

An hour or so passed before once again she stirred.

The second time Suzanne woke up, Klaus let her believe he was still sleeping. The best way to gather information from her would be if she did not realize he was doing so. Killing her could wait – if there was an ulterior motive to her having met with him last night, he wanted to know what it was.

The first thing she did was crack her back, which was a bit repulsive. But when he assumed she realized that he was in bed beside her, she froze. A second later she began moving, and he could hear her grabbing at her clothing. The swishing sound of a shirt being thrown on was followed by the quiet zip of her skirt, and a second after he heard her bare feet padding into the adjoining kitchen of the apartment.

Surprisingly, the first thing she did once she was in a separate room was make a phone call to another man while he heard her moving a few things on the counter around.

"I told you three times I was going out to drink and possibly get laid. Why the fuck did you think I'd want eight texts about your little brother's high school friends?"

" _Such hostility, Suze! Just wanted to keep you updated, seeing as you gave me the silent treatment last time I didn't fill you in on the all the drama._ "

Suzanne let out an annoyed snort but sounded genuinely fond when she responded to the man on the other end of the call. This must be the best friend she'd mentioned a few times.

"Point taken. But I just had sex and have little to no interest in plotting right now."

The man on the phone burst into laughter before saying, " _So your gentleman caller put out? Did you –"_

Suzanne hung up, and Klaus decided to stage his waking up. Her conversation wasn't a guarantee of course, but she seemed to be acting without a motive or plot. Truthfully, the more he had thought about it, the less likely it had seemed that Suzanne was working against him. Their meeting would have been difficult to stage, and keeping in contact over innocuous texts with largely useless information wouldn't have been a great tactic for any kind of spy.

With a loud, obvious yawn, he made sure to create a bit of sound as he pulled on his own pants and walked to the kitchen. Klaus tried to suppress his amusement at the startled squeak his appearance prompted from the young woman, and he watched as she practically juggled the coffee grounds she'd been holding in an attempt to keep them from hitting the floor. Though Klaus easily could have grabbed the bag from her, he had officially decided to play human for a bit. To his relief, she righted herself on her own and let out a self-congratulatory muttered "yes".

It seemed as though she actually assessed her current situation a second later and realized she was standing fully dressed – she hadn't found her underwear, however, Klaus had seen those on his walk out of the bedroom – in the kitchen while he looked at her impassively.

"Your coffee machine looked basic enough that I could brew some. Sorry for the overstepping, if you're protective of your caffeine stock or something."

Klaus snorted and let a small, hopefully harmless looking smile cover his face.

"No, I'm not particularly attached to my coffee machine. You look entirely too done-up, however."

Suzanne immediately looked a bit awkward, and while she didn't blush, her fidgeting and cracking of her knuckles – dear god, was it a _habit_ of hers? – gave away her sudden influx of nerves.

"Yeah. I'm not usually around in the morning-after stage of one night stands. But we've already met and you know my favorite books and shit, so I figured it would be alright if I said 'bye'. If that's not the case, speak now."

By the end of her speech she looked entirely confident and careless to anyone who wasn't incredibly versed in reading people. However Klaus was one of those people, so he could see through the brashness she put on and was able to tell that she was genuinely uncomfortable.

"You won't hear any complaints from me about a pretty girl making coffee in my kitchen after a good night."

Now _there_ was the blush he remembered so fondly from last night.

* * *

"There is a stupid fucking ghost-witch trying to ruin my afterlife."

… that was honestly not a sentence that Suzanne would have ever thought she would hear and then proceed to take seriously. But she was very fond of a certain dick who made enemies out of a ton of people. And apparently also ghost-witches.

It sort of seemed like things hadn't been going Damon's way lately, and as much as she wanted to be there for him, he'd kept her in the dark about parts of his plan, something she truthfully appreciated. After finding out he had turned a random girl and killed her in front of the sheriff she hadn't been able to look at herself in the mirror. Because honestly? Her first reaction had been relief that now her friend would be a little bit safer.

There was a window seat with her name on it on the way to hell.

"Well, what did you do to the ghost-witch?"

Suzanne saw two teenage boys walking by her outdoor table at the restaurant obviously overhear her and stare at her strangely, so she immediately gave them the finger and made a face back at them, making them hurry up their pace.

"That's the worst part, I didn't even _do_ anything to her except keep up my end of a deal we made! And then she went and destroyed my crystal! She was a Bennett and protected Katherine as long as I protected her descendants."

Suzanne hummed along, partially to show him that she was listening, and partially because she had just taken a _really fucking delicious_ bite of the avocado toast in front of her. Coming to this restaurant for her lunch break had been a very good call.

"Well, um. That sucks."

Damon let out an annoyed sound on the other end at her brief answer, so Suzanne continued talking.

"Hey, I can't really help out much with this. I don't know what the crystal you're talking about means to your plans or all that much about the schematics and intricacies of the Save-Katherine plan. You just told me that when it happens I've got to stay out of Mystic Falls so I don't get eaten by the group of vampires you're freeing by proxy. But I'm always here for you to rant to. Whatever I can do to make you feel better."

And so the remainder of her lunch break was split between near-orgasmic food and trying to understand the supernatural pubescent nonsense going on two towns over.

* * *

 _Sorry for the late update, work was kicking my ass. I'll be picking up the pace a bit in the next few weeks. We'll also be moving back more towards Suze and Damon's friendship - that's really what the story is about, after all. Cheers! xx  
_


	16. Chapter 16

"Dude, what if comic book heros are inspired by vampires who were just showing off?"

Damon was _this close_ to dropping his fangs, leaning over, and gnawing on Suze. Maybe her shoulder? There wasn't really any other body part he could reach seeing as she was sitting in the passenger seat of the car he was trying to drive. Keyword _trying_ , seeing as Suze wouldn't fucking stop distracting him with her ridiculous line of questioning.

"For fucks sake, _no_."

Suzanne pouted at his answer and pulled out the flask from her purse, sipping from the mixed drink she'd made a few hours before. She was already tipsy, and Damon was practically counting down the hours before they would be in Georgia and he could get drunk with her. In the mean time, Suze was going to be drunk for almost 24 hours straight, which was going to be a hell of an experience.

In theory, bringing Suze along on his road trip was fantastic. He knew she and Bree would get along, and he'd have the opportunity to grill her about the new guy she was banging. But it _also_ meant that she could subject him to equally exasperating questioning.

"Don't be cranky, it's just that if _I_ were a vampire I'd parkour everywhere."

Damon looked away from the road for a moment to glimpse at her. He couldn't lie to himself and say that he hadn't thought about turning her. Suze and him being best friends for centuries? Really fucking awesome concept. But instead of delving into _that_ talk, he simply snorted derisively and responded to her comment.

"Um, no, you wouldn't. You'd still be a spaz, just a stronger and faster disaster of a person. You'd do even more damage than you do already as an itsy bitsy human."

Suze gasped theatrically in false offense but couldn't hold in her carefree laughter, and Damon was harshly reminded of another reason he'd insisted that Suze come with him. He hadn't heard that laughter in a few weeks. Lexi leading her on to try to warn her away from him had been a dick move, and the next time Damon saw the blonde vampire bitch he'd make her day _very_ unpleasant. She'd been a little better, but then Caroline had been kidnapped by Logan Fell and she had flipped the fuck out.

He'd learned as he had gotten to know Suze that they shared a certain quality – possessiveness. Not necessarily in the traditional sense, but once Suze decided to be someone's friend or confidant, she considered them _hers_ and evidently didn't respond well to them getting hurt.

She was still brainstorming ways to fuck up Stefan ever since the vervain incident after the Founders' Ball, and had shown him her extensive list. Both of them, actually, since one was labelled 'mostly harmless' and the other 'probably not lethal'.

So Damon drank in her upbeat attitude. After all, he was pretty certain she'd been purposely trying to frustrate him for the last twenty minutes, which was a sign that she was in a good mood.

Thinking about their upcoming journey, Damon was almost absentminded when he said, "We still haven't taken Barbie out. You think she-"

Sure cut him off immediately with an uncharacteristically firm, "no."

When Damon didn't say anything, clearly expecting her to explain, she started talking quickly.

"I just don't want her to have to deal with any supernatural stuff for a little while. Especially after that fucker hurt her..."

He was silent for a minute, thinking over what she'd said. With a pang of regret - because honestly, he didn't know if the answer he'd get was the one he wanted to hear - he responded.

"Suze, I can't guarantee that. You're the exception. She's not too bad, but the real reason I'm not hurting Barbie is because _you_ like Barbie. But the rest of the humans? I could give a damn. I need to know that you _get_ that."

She immediately sipped at her flask, and a cold pit of anxiety started building in his stomach. He couldn't - she'd seen him at his _worst._ She was his first real friend.. maybe ever. If Suze decided that he wasn't worth being around, then what did that say about him? Before his emotions - fuck, he _hated_ emotions, he should have kept the switch _off_ \- could spiral any further, she cut through his thoughts.

"Yeah, I get that, you dumbass. It's harder to put a face and a person to random names you used to throw around is all. I want Caroline safe, but you're not my guard dog that I get to point in whatever direction I want to protect whoever I want. I love you, first and foremost. That's why I'm here."

Shit. _Emotions_. Things were getting dangerously vulnerable, and Damon knew that if they didn't switch the subject soon he'd probably blurt out something sappy, so he moved on to a subject he'd been dying to hear more about.

"So… _Nick._ "

Her mouth immediately clamped shut. A somewhat embarrassed expression covered her face and before he could comment she flicked his shoulder, muttering petulantly "Eyes on the road."

However, a minute of silence later she clearly realized that he wasn't going to let it go, so she started spilling.

"He's… funny, kind of. Really sarcastic and dry. But it's nothing serious, he literally travels the world. We just happened to be in the same city."

Damon nodded along as she spoke, making sure to keep a straight face before he responded with a taunt he'd already used, but now actually applied.

"Suzy and Nicky, sitting in a tree. F-U-C-K-I-"

When Suze started shrieking, for the first moment he thought it was in response to his teasing, until her words registered.

"Look out!"

* * *

"-were _changed people_ after it."

"Nope. Definitely ignored each other on Monday. You know I'm right."

Elena blearily blinked her eyes open, squinting for a second against the glare of sunlight streaming through the car window. What…

With a groan, she sat up slowly, acutely feeling her aching muscles. She'd been laid across the back seat of a car and recognized one of those voices very well, while she was _pretty sure_ she knew who the other person was. When she turned to the front of the car, her suspicion was confirmed.

Suzanne was sitting in the passenger seat and had turned around almost completely, looking her up and down before nodding to herself.

"You're up. I checked your pupils last night and woke you up every few hours, you probably don't remember. No concussion, a hell of a headache, I'm sure. Okay, settle this argument, do you think the members of the Breakfast Club ignored each other on Monday or acted like friends?"

Elena stared at her, mouth opening but then closing again as she literally couldn't think of what to say. What the hell was going on?

"Where are we?"

Damon was the one who answered cheerfully, "Georgia."

"Georgia? No, no. No, we're not. Seriously, Damon. Where are we?"

Suzanne pitched in and seemed to be trying to remain upbeat – or was she actually this happy with Damon in the car as Elena was _kidnapped?_ – when she said, "He's serious. We're making great time."

Elena was trying to walk through last night, but the details were coming back to her slowly. "But my car...there was a man...I hit a man. But then he got up, and... who was that?"

Elena watched as Damon glanced at Suzanne, who seemed to nod. Was she in on this? When Elena had met her she seemed like Damon was her friend and she knew that Suzanne had been the one to let him out of the cellar with vervain, but how involved was the woman? Before she could voice her question, Damon answered.

"That's what I would like to know."

Feeling a little more frantic, she tried to remain stern when she said, "Pull over. I mean it, Damon. Pull over! Stop the car!"

Suzanne snorted from the passenger seat before muttering, "Told you we should have dropped her off at home." The woman looked back and started talking slowly, as if she was trying to calm down a child when she said, "We're already this far, and we're not going to be here for very long. You sure this can't wait?"

With indignation, Elena responded in an acidic tone, "Why are you doing this? I can't be in Georgia. I wrecked my car. I have to go home. This is kidnapping."

Damon sighed and sounded almost exasperated when he turned to Suzanne and said, "Can you use your magic teenage-girl-bonding powers?"

The car swerved a little bit when she slapped the back of his head.

* * *

Suzanne was really trying to be nice. Or at least civil. But the _drama._ This girl was so ridiculously infuriating. It was absurd, like a soap opera. Her super serious tone, the pledge of trust – Christ, she was going to vomit.

And now – oh ho, _now_ Elena was just sitting there making things awkward and being judgmental. Awkward was a state of being Suzanne was accustomed to, but not around Damon. This trip was supposed to be fun, and now there was a teenage commentator. Suzanne was trying to be normal, but having joking conversations with Damon wasn't working out.

Predictably, her best friend was being much more of an asshole than usual, putting on the charming and flirtatious façade to throw the girl off. Suzanne could have guessed that he wouldn't really be himself around people who weren't – well, _her_. Unfortunately, this meant that she'd have to deal with the cocky flirty version of him for the entire trip.

Trying once more to extend an olive branch, she muttered to Elena, "Sorry you found out you're a clone."

Which of course made the teenager start leaking angst everywhere when she said in a frustrated voice, "You _knew_? Was I the only one who didn't know?"

The _drama_.


	17. Chapter 17

It took every ounce of Suzanne's willpower not to fucking _slam_ the door of Damon's car shut once they finally arrived at the bar they had been driving to. The only reason she didn't was because her head felt like it was about to explode.

Looking up at the sign of the bar, Suzanne felt yet another pang of annoyance. They were carting around a fucking teenager. Obviously they were there to ask Damon's old fuckbuddy for her magical help to let Katherine out of the tomb, but they weren't going to have just _ignored_ that they were in a _bar_. But now, instead of drinking and fun, they would have to –what? _Keep an eye on her_? It was infuriating.

Speaking of drinking, however, she was in a predicament. After being drunk for 15 hours straight, Suzanne had nodded off for the last five hours of their drive. Because of that, she woke up really, really, really painfully hungover. The thought of even using Purell made her want to vomit.

For a moment as the three of them walked up to the bar, Suzanne wondered if Damon's blood could cure a hangover. She had actually had his blood before, and as weird as it was, it didn't disgust her or anything. She'd swallowed her own blood while biting her tongue, and it wasn't all that different. Suzanne was thinking about asking him to give her a bottle to keep at home for when she got hurt. It was fucking awesome when the crooked and purple toes she'd broken had realigned themselves.

Of course Damon had made fun of her for half an hour for kicking the corner of her kitchen table and breaking three toes.

Glancing up at the sign labelled "Bree's Bar", Suzanne did admittedly feel a subdued pang of excitement. Damon had actually been fairly complimentary when he'd described the witch who owned the place, meaning she had to be super fucking awesome. Though obviously half of his details had been how good the woman was in bed.

Suzanne felt a little weird meeting someone that she already knew could put her feet behind her head.

Deciding to completely ignore Damon and Elena, Suzanne strode into the bar, letting out a sigh of relief when she could no longer hear the whining of the doppelgänger and Damon's comments that were obviously trying to rile her up.

Suzanne immediately walked up to the bar's counter and hopped onto a stool, leaning forward to put her elbows against the wood before propping her chin up with both hands.

"Are you the lovely Bree I've heard so much about?"

The woman who had been wiping down what looked and smelled like a puddle of spilled beer on the opposite side of the bar turned to Suzanne while letting out a rasping laugh. With raised eyebrows the woman immediately quipped, "All good things, I'm sure?"

Suzanne snorted and moved her eyebrows up and down exaggeratedly while very obviously looking the witch up and down before saying in a drawling tone, "Oh lovely lady, _all_ sorts of good things."

When Bree opened her mouth to respond, she was cut off by an amused shout.

"Suze! Are you trying to move in on my ex?"

"No. No, it can't be. Damon. My honey pie."

Bree leaned in and immediately the two of them began making out. However when Bree pulled back she announced to the entire bar, "Listen up everybody! Here's to the man that broke my heart, crushed my soul, destroyed my life, and ruined any and all chances of happiness! Drink up!"

Suzanne very literally had to slap her hand over her mouth to keep from gagging when Bree placed a shot in front of her. Everyone around her threw back their drinks and cheered, but Suzanne just clenched her other fist. Bree gave her a look before sliding the shot back and taking it herself. When she looked back at Suzanne a small, sympathetic smile covered her face.

"Hungover?"

Suzanne pulled her hand away and groaned as she said, "My very _soul_ is hungover, witchy."

After speaking Suzanne felt her eyes widen, unsure if the woman would be upset that she knew about her status as a magical being. However the only response was a cocked eyebrow before Bree tipped her head in Damon and Elena's direction. Suzanne followed her line of sight and saw that the two of them were bickering. She let out an annoyed sigh and felt seriously tempted to throw some of the bar peanuts at them. Jesus Christ, this was not anywhere near as fun as Suzanne had been hoping it would be. Bree opened her mouth, probably to ask about the situation, so Suzanne answered the unvoiced question.

"She's dating Damon's brother and we picked her up on the way here. A total buzzkill."

Bree snorted and looked amused, so Suzanne thought it would be the right time to actually introduce herself properly.

"I'm Suzanne, Damon's best friend and platonic soulmate. And once he disengages from the doppelgänger he'll explain why we're here. He told me about you, and was very complimentary. Weird to imagine him creeping around on a college campus, though."

The witch looked at her closely, as if measuring her sincerity, before deciding that Suzanne had passed whatever silent test she'd been given.

"Give me a second. My hangover cures are _more_ than magical, baby."

Without saying anything else, Bree turned around and reached down underneath the liquor storage into a cabinet. Suzanne felt no shame as she glanced at the woman's _phenomenal_ ass. With ease that made it clear that she had been bartending for a while, the witch mixed something together. As soon as she placed it in front of her, Suzanne got the sense that the drink wasn't the sort of thing someone could find in a supermarket. Wide eyed, she looked up and locked eyes with Bree.

"Is this a magical hangover curing potion?"

The older woman looked entertained but answered calmly when she said, "Yes."

It took Suzanne approximately six seconds to chug the entire glass of not-quite-pleasant tasting liquid, but its effect was immediately. As her headache disappeared and the soreness left her limbs, Suzanne decided that Bree was her new favorite person.

"I am so serious pretty lady, you can sit on my face for _hours_."

Of course the was the moment that Damon and Elena wandered over. The high schooler looked absolutely floored and incredulously said to herself, "Are you - did you - oh my _god_."

Suzanne whipped around to glare at the teenager and saw that Damon was giving her a similar scathing look with dark veins already spreading underneath his eyes. Not needing Damon to step in, Suzanne deliberately kept her voice very falsely pleasant when she said, "You have a problem with me fucking women?"

To her credit, Elena's mouth dropped open and she actually looked a little offended when she said, "Of course not! But you were just so - inappropriate."

And alright, that was true. Suzanne's absurd pick up lines either received an interested smirk or an offended look. So she decided not to hold it against the teenager and shrugged to acknowledge that the girl was right. Before any other random comments could be made about Suzanne's sexuality, Bree cut into the conversation.

"So, what is it that you want?"

To her relief Elena had to walk outside at that moment to talk to her aunt. Suzanne let her mind wander for a second, trying to picture the woman. Caroline had already confided in her that Jenna knew she and Damon weren't actually together. Of course Suzanne had _immediately_ told Caroline not to let Damon know, but after scoping out Jenna, Suzanne really didn't think it would be an issue. The woman was young and pretty hot, even if she radiated heterosexuality.

Suzanne zoned back into the conversation when she heard Damon's tone get a little bit strained. Seeing as the topic was the oh-so-wonderful Katherine, it wasn't exactly a surprise.

"Come on, there's gotta be another way."

Bree responded in a somewhat amused tone when she said, "After all these years, it's still only Katherine."

Bree was clearly going to keep speaking, but Suzanne just couldn't hold in her glee to find another person who didn't like the bitchy female vampire so she smacked her hand against the bar top and groaned melodramatically before fake whispering in a conspiring tone, " _I know right!_ Our handsome young man over here could have anyone! Greener pastures and all that."

Damon didn't look away from Bree when he pleasantly said, "It would take me five seconds to tear out your heart, Suze."

Bree's eyes widened at that and she seemed even more caught off guard when Suzanne's only response was to lean over to obnoxiously kiss his cheek and lean against him before saying in a lofty voice, "Oh sweetheart, why do you have to be so _cold_?"

The witch seemed to finally answer Damon's question when she said in a resigned voice, "I already told you what had to happen to open the tomb. Twenty years ago. Remember? Three easy steps: Comet. Crystal. Spell."

Damon let out an annoyed groan and slumped onto Suzanne, who let out a surprised squeak and had to tightly grip the bar not to fall on her ass.

"There's a little problem with number two. I don't have the crystal."

Bree looked back and forth between the two and seemed to be assessing them. If the witch had really gotten to know Damon back in college, Suzanne wasn't surprised by her apparent skepticism or confusion in regard to their relationship. Damon and she were... an interesting combination when they were together.

When she spoke, Bree seemed sincere and said, "It's Emily's spell, baby. It has to be the original crystal, the comet, and the spell. There isn't any other way."

She nodded at them, signaling that the subject was closed for the time being, and walked to the other side of the bar to serve other patrons. Suzanne nudged Damon's shoulder and kept her voice quiet when she earnestly said, "Hey, we know that there _is_ a way. I can't really be anything but moral support, but you're crafty enough to find the ingredients. I believe in you, you're the best, blah blah blah."

Damon snorted but made it clear a second later that he acknowledged the sentiment when he reached down and laced their fingers together for a second. However after a minute or two of silence he abruptly stood up and began strutting towards a booth that Suzanne realized the doppelgänger was inhabiting, absorbed in her phone. So apparently it was time for him to badger the teenage barnacle.

After she'd received a fairly lackluster salad, Suzanne dug in and decided to just observe the hilarious interaction going on in front of her.

"Let's just say that I'm descended from Katherine...does that make me part vampire?"

"Vampires can't procreate. But we love to try."

Without saying anything, Suzanne held up her hand and gave him a fist bump.

Of course Damon went on to taunt Elena and was playing up the whole douchebag thing. And then the doppelgänger sank any modicum of upbeat attitude when she pouted and seemed far too serious as she said, "This nice act. Is any of it real?"

Suzanne finally cut in at that. Literally as well as figuratively, actually, as she made a chopping motion between them. Elena flinched and leaned back, as if forgetting that Suzanne had been there - _rude_.

"Cut the dramatic antics, Gilbert. Damon is the shit. Not his fault you and Stefan are too vanilla to see it."

Elena look both surprised and offended but before she could say anything Bree interrupted, having brought a beer for Damon.

Suzanne smiled widely, having decided that Bree was fantastic and made sure to be polite and convey her appreciation - that hangover potion was so, so fucking cool - as she pulled out a twenty and said, "Can I please have two double-vodka Diet Cokes?"

Bree nodded and grabbed the bill, but before she turned away Elena said, "I'll have one too."

The witch raised an eyebrow but Suzanne had reached to end of her meager patience. They had taken the high school student along on their road trip and _basically_ ruined it. She was not feeling at all generous towards the uppity girl, so she turned to Bree and said flatly, "She is sixteen. She won't be having one."

Before Elena could so much as open her mouth, Damon burst into laughter and they high fived approximately eight inches in front of the offended teenager's face.

* * *

This entire story was deleted from my computer, so rewriting it will slow down the updates a little bit. But they won't be nearly so far apart again. ALSO: this story will always be a platonic Suzamon relationship - so I'm posting an alternate spin off short story that is Suze/Damon romantically. Enjoy ;)


	18. Chapter 18

Suzanne was on the couch watching Shark Week reruns and learning _all about_ the illusive Megalodon. Nik had been adamant that they were extinct and had made fun of her for almost ten minutes when she'd said she wasn't positive that the Loch Ness Monster was a hoax. Bigfoot was bullshit, obviously. And the chupacabra was probably a deformed coyote.

But c'mon, if _vampires_ were real, who was she to say every other myth or legend was false? Of course she couldn't tell Nik this, but it was irritating all the same to have to look at his stupidly handsome, smug face when she knew the supernatural actually existed. In the last few weeks, they'd been talking almost every day whether by text or actual calls. Apparently he'd been traveling in and around Virginia for the last month, and seeing as Nik was apparently richer than God, he made it seem like no big deal when he traveled to meet in the middle with her.

Unfortunately, Suzanne was having _feelings_.

It was disgusting. But Nik was a fucking charming asshole and goddamnit he was fantastic in bed. The sex was amazing. Even _she_ hadn't known she was as flexible as some of their positions required -

But that wasn't the worst part. The _worst par_ t was that she'd started believing him when he called her beautiful, or told her he looked forward to spending time with her. Suzanne knew she was gangly as hell and that it was somehow considered fashionable, but her sharp features and somewhat crooked teeth didn't exactly appeal to everyone, something she didn't actually care that much about. But the last time they'd had dinner then stayed the night in his hotel, he'd gotten a call the next day from his 'irritatingly noble older brother'. When the aforementioned man had apparently asked either where he was or what he was doing, Nik had answered that he was 'having breakfast with the girl I fancy.' When she'd gaped at him, he'd only shrugged.

Suzanne had been waiting for the _gotcha!_ moment, when he'd joke around and say that he was messing with his sibling. But the moment hadn't come, and when Suzanne had gone home that afternoon she'd had to watch three different horror movies to stop the mushy, fond feelings that were steadily becoming more and more of a problem, even now that she was at home and only communicating with him over the phone.

Of course just when the leading expert on the maybe-extinct shark species started talking, her phone went off. To say Suzanne was 'confused' when she saw that _Stefan_ of all people was calling her in the middle of the night would be a massive understatement. The only reason she even had his number was because Damon had admitted it might be useful as his plans and plotting had become more and more convoluted leading up to the dumbass comet.

Damon was going to open the tomb and save Katherine as some point tonight, but Suzanne hadn't thought she'd be hearing from him this early. Her first concrete thought after seeing the wrong brother's name displayed on her phone's screen was that maybe Damon was getting _physically reacquainted_ with Katherine. Maybe he was too busy to call her and had asked Stefan to fill her in. Maybe –

"We opened the tomb and Katherine wasn't in it. Damon left. Can you- "

Suzanne immediately felt a pit of dread in her stomach and cut him off, already throwing herself off the couch and going into her room, tearing through her drawers to put on some pants.

"I'm on it."

Hanging up on the younger Salvatore, Suzanne rooted around her bedside drawer, hoping to find her keys. Simultaneously looking for a jacket and scrolling through her phone's contacts, it only took her a moment before she was calling her best friend. When he didn't pick up, she immediately dialed again. This time, the call was answered after two rings.

"Had to find my phone, princess. It was underneath two sorority sisters' bodies."

Suzanne took a deep breath in and out, trying to remind herself that he was most likely emotionally traumatized, and she should be giving him some leeway for being a dick. Except –

"You're a dick."

Damon laughed on the other end of the phone, and even if it was a cynical sound, Suzanne latched on to it, putting on her best fake-peppy voice when she said, "Let's meet up and do something fun. I'm better than corpses for company, or so I've heard."

Damon made an annoyed sound on the other end of the phone, but Suzanne counted it as a victory when he said, "You're _so_ damn transparent. But I _would_ prefer some unjudgy company as I spiral. I'll come over to your place."

At that, Suzanne let out a sigh of relief and kicked off the tight jeans she'd been pulling on, putting her grimy sweatpants from college back on. Like she was going to try to impress _Damon_. Damon spoke glibly before he hung up when he sang over the line, "Gotta finish my meal. I'll be over in an hour."

Was Suzanne a really, _really_ bad person for being a little happy she'd get to finish her documentary?

* * *

By the time Damon arrived, Suzanne had already arranged her place to be the best 'undead cloned girlfriend turned out to be an uncaring bitch _just like Suzanne said_ ' set up she could. There wasn't a 'blanket fort' per se, but her futon had been extended and there were a shitload of pillows and duvets on the thing's mattress. DVDs were stacked on the coffee table ranging from _Legally Blonde_ to _Ferris Bueller's Day Off_. _Cruel Intentions_ was in there too, mostly because Suzanne figured that maybe Damon would want to watch a movie where the manipulative, bitchy brunette got fucked over in the end.

Regardless, Suzanne was determined to do the best she could to make Damon feel better. She wasn't disillusioned - one night of fun couldn't even come close to completely healing the massive wound that had to be in place. But if she could give him even one night to forget about Katherine, she would. There wasn't any booze set out, because Suzanne knew that when Damon or her drank while emotional it often got much too honest and led to angry regret for revealing more than they'd wanted to in the morning.

When she heard someone overly-aggressively shove a key into her door, she knew that Damon had shown up.

* * *

Damon really wished he was less of a sap around Suze, but when Killer and Louie immediately rushed up to him and started jumping and licking him, he basically dissolved into one of those suburban mothers who regularly ate brunch and cooed at dogs. Though of course if Suze ever pointed out the _slight_ change in tone he used around her dogs, he'd be sure to remind her of the time she'd drunkenly sang "Total Eclipse of the Heart" to Killer before bursting into tears when the dog didn't take over for the second part of the duet.

Having a best friend who was also a borderline alcoholic came in handy when he needed blackmail material.

To his surprise, Suze looked as though she was attempting nonchalance when he finally looked at her. He'd half been expecting her to gloat, something that he now felt bad about for underestimating her character. Instead, she walked over to him and laced their fingers together as she said, "You're the best. I'm here. Do you want to have a normal night?"

Damon immediately nodded in response. _This_ was why he fucking loved her. If he had spent even a second around Stefan or Elena when he had found out Katherine didn't give a shit about him they would have tried to hug him and console him with pity in their expressions. Suze just - she understood what he needed. And what he needed tonight was a night where he could pretend everything was normal. It wasn't denial exactly, but it was easier to talk about what he was feeling when there wasn't the slow violin background music and shit.

Suze strode over to the futon and practically dove onto the right side of the mattress - she'd made it clear that it was _her side_ months ago - and smacked her hand against the unoccupied side of the bed. Damon of course got with the program immediately and silently sorted through the 17 DVDs she handed him right away. Who the hell still bought DVDs? Suze, obviously, but she was pretty technology-stupid. It should embarrass her that a guy more than a century old had to teach her how to properly use hashtags, but Suze had quickly flicked his nose when he'd said so. Of course she'd ranted for twenty minutes about the fact that 'kids these days' were constantly around technology, making them intolerable.

Suze always thought kids were intolerable. But Damon hadn't been in the mood to point it out.

Damon finally picked out the movie 'Step Brothers' and Suze practically squealed with excitement when she saw his selection. A minute later the two of them were laughing their asses off at Will Ferrell. Each time a particularly memorable line came on Damon would repeat it word for word, making Suze laugh even harder.

When his best friend's phone started ringing, he completely expected her to get up and wander the kitchen to take the call, seeing as it was probably Nik. Suze had been filling him in about how their weird relationship was going, their last conversation being about her uncertainty about the difference between 'dating, and then being girlfriend-boyfriend.'

Instead, Suze grabbed her phone, turned it off, and tossed it to the side before turning back to him and grinning at him before nudging him back towards the movie.

Damon had no idea what he'd done to deserve her.

* * *

 _I'm writing two thesis papers currently and after this whole story was deleted it's been rough remembering/rewriting it, so I'm sorry for the delay! xx as always please let me know what you think, if the characters are accurate, etc! Reviews are always welcome_


	19. Chapter 19

Klaus welcomed the distraction of his phone ringing during the business meeting of sorts he was currently entangled in. Elijah had been the one to set it up, and after an hour of speaking with a coven that was absolutely transparent in their sucking up to him he was ready to _leave_. When he glanced down at his phone and saw the name 'Hurricane Suzanne' Klaus stifled a laugh - he'd never bothered to change the contact name she'd put for herself in his phone.

'Hurricane Suzanne' indeed. The woman had certainly rearranged his life since they'd met. It was becoming difficult to remind himself when they were together that it was only temporary and that soon it would be best to end their relationship. He'd finally asked her outright if they could be official when his immense jealousy had reared its head.

Klaus was a possessive person. He coveted Suzanne's affection, and even if he knew that Suzanne and her friend Damon were merely platonic, it still rankled when he saw the unbridled glee and fondness on her face when she spoke about him. It had been unsurprising, actually, when Suzanne had blushed and said yes before quickly blurting out that she had never had an official relationship with a man. Klaus had learned that her longest relationship had been with a woman named Eleanor, who had broken up with her after four months together.

Looking back to the warlocks and witches in front of him, Klaus made sure his face was coldly serious when he said, "I have to take this. I'm glad we were able to negotiate this alliance."

Leaving before they could respond, Klaus sped out of the house so as not to be overheard when he answered the call.

"Hello, love."

" _Oh god, don't call me that. It makes me feel like you expect me to swoon or fan at myself in response._ "

Klaus strode towards his car, quickly unlocking it and getting in.

"So you've said, so you've said. How has your day been so far?"

Suzanne let out an entirely unsexy groan before she said in a purposely dramatic tone, " _I've been trying to cheer Damon up for the last week ever since his ex-girlfriend and so-called love of his life turned out to be as much of a cunt as I had predicted._ "

Klaus winced slightly, still adjusting to the incredibly crass words she constantly used while speaking. But he was interested to see where this line of conversation was going, so he responded, "And because you are the height of tact and sympathy you've been doing a fantastic job?"

It was teasing, but Klaus realized his mistake when Suzanne's own joking tone became strained and detectably bothered, " _I am, actually, Nik. I'm a good friend to the people I like. All… eight of them, probably._ "

Klaus immediately cut off whatever anger might be building and made sure she could hear his sincerity when he said, "I know you are."

Suzanne huffed on the other end of the line but seemed to accept his words, saying, " _Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I was calling to see if you're anywhere near North Carolina or want to spend an outlandish amount of money to come here. We're at a house on the Outer Banks. It's fucking freezing, but what can you do._ "

Well for one, he could invite Suzanne along with him to the Caribbean or somewhere similar. Klaus hadn't taken a vacation in a while, and Elijah's bafflement could be entertaining to see. But he knew Suzanne wouldn't accept his offer. She was still skittish about their relationship and would be offended in some way or another if he asked. But he didn't miss the mention of the word 'we' so he immediately asked her to clarify.

"Both you and Damon are there?"

" _Mhm. I figure after I've had to see his parade of hookups we at least owe him a night of having to know I'm getting laid a few doors down the hall._ "

Klaus snorted but had to admit the idea was tempting. He didn't have any immediate plans, apart from his more overarching plots involving his father and the bloody curse. So he responded, "Send me the address. I'm in Louisiana, so I'll book a flight and be there by tomorrow night. Does that work?"

On the other end of the line Suzanne sounded excited when she said, " _Yeah, that's perfect. I can't wait for you guys to meet. Don't mention anything about ex-girlfriends and you two will get along. He's definitely going to give you the over-protective dad talk._ "

After the call ended, Klaus had the pleasure of trying to imagine a human doing their best to intimidate him.

* * *

Suze was practically twitching in her seat, constantly checking her phone and doing a poor job of suppressing her excitement. Damon had to admit that he was also sort of looking forward to finally meeting Nik. He knew the guy made Suze happy. Well, she didn't become a ball of sunshine, but he was evidently sort of a dick and made her laugh, so Damon could see how it could be good for her to have someone like that.

Damon knew that Suze had been sort of walking on eggshells around him for the first few days after the whole Katherine reveal, but it was starting to go back to normal the last two weeks after they'd finally sat down and talked about it. Once the mushy feelings were out of the way, they'd gotten drunk as per usual.

He'd actually thought he wouldn't welcome the idea of meeting Nik. But after the last few months Damon was very secure in the knowledge that Suze weren't going to just stop being friends or drift apart because of some guy.

The last two days had been fun in North Carolina, but without the nice weather the beach wasn't an option. Having someone else around would give them more things to do. Unfortunately, the third person would mean that Damon couldn't fake-propose to Suze anymore in restaurants to get free dessert and champagne. Or maybe they could somehow act it out even more elaborately with an ex-lover storming in just as he got down on one knee and –

"He's here! Okay, okay. This will be fun, right?"

Damon cocked an eyebrow at Suze to silently convey his amusement with her babbling, so she rolled her eyes and stood up to walk up to the front door, smacking his shoulder on the way.

The guy that walked in a second later next to Suze both was and wasn't what Damon had been expecting. Nik was good-looking, and even if Suze had already told him that, Damon had seen her weirdly random taste in people. What immediately made him like the guy, however, was the exasperated but fond look he was giving Suze as she rambled on about their awful attempt at swimming in the freezing ocean last night.

The guy dropped his small duffle bag on the kitchen floor and strode up to Damon, shaking his hand firmly as he said, "I'm Nik. Suzanne has told me more about you than you'd probably be comfortable with."

Damon smirked and looked at Suze, who was pointedly _not_ looking at him. In a cocky voice he responded to Nik and said, "All good things, I'm sure."

Nik snorted and an amused smile covered his face when he said, "No."

Damon laughed at that and was a little bit more genuine as he responded, "Good. I'm a dick."

Suze cut in at that and said, "You two have that in common. Now, want to put your stuff away then find someplace for us all to eat?"

* * *

This was not what Suzanne had in mind when she had decided to introduce Nik and Damon to each other.

"-She just sat down on the woman's lap and told her she was sure that she was Emperor Augustus in a previous life."

Nik laughed loudly at that and immediately quipped back, "So you know the extent of her preoccupation with Ancient Rome?"

"Oh yeah. Our girl is _quite_ the nerd."

Suzanne knocked back three gulps in quick succession of her double vodka Diet Coke, hoping that soon enough Damon and Nik would _shut the fuck up_ about all the embarrassing shit they'd both witnessed her doing. Yeah, she was glad they were getting along, but this was a goddamn nightmare.

" _So_. If you two are done being assholes, are you ready to move along and order? Oh, and quick side notes: Nik has a Nickelback CD in his car and Damon passed out while leaning against a light post in the middle of singing Bohemian Rhapsody."

The two men immediately stopped talking, both staring at her with expressions of betrayal at her reveals. But come on, like Suzanne was going to _not_ be petty around the two? They both already knew she wasn't exactly Miss Happy-Go-Lucky; it wasn't as if this was some big reveal of her true self.

Nik was the first to respond to her, glancing down at the menu and saying in a drawling voice, "I'm unsure of what to get. Diner food, or diner food?"

Suzanne ducked her head down to hide her smile. Her fondness for the guy was flat out embarrassing sometimes, and she was still admittedly a little freaked out by the fact that he'd made it clear that he 'fancied' her or whatever other pretentious English slang he used to annoy her. Feelings meant that she'd get hurt when he left her.

Thank god the waitress came by at that moment, and they quickly rattled off their orders, each ordering another drink as well. When the waitress conspicuously looked at her half-full glass, Suzanne made eye contact with the woman, draining her drink without looking away before placing it back down, an exaggeratedly pleasant smile on her face.

"You know us alcoholics, always happy to ingest hard liquor."

The woman's eyes widened and she quickly scurried away, Damon laughing at her obviously mocking behavior. Nik, however, smirked and spoke to her in a somewhat impressed tone of voice.

"Are you always this charming?"

Suzanne gave him the same obnoxious smile she'd just sent at the waitress before responding in a sappy tone, "Oh, you know it, honey."

Damon, now evidently back on her side as if he hadn't been _a traitorous asshole_ , said in the exact same tone of voice to Nik, "Yeah, sweetie. Suze is a delight."

Their high five was fairly awful and off-center, so obviously she and Damon had to do it over again, to what looked like Nik's amusement. And yes, she was griping and whining about Damon and Nik's ganging up on her, but in truth she was so, _so_ relieved that they were getting along. All three of them at the table could be smarmy little shits, and the banter was awesome.

Plus, she'd have to drop Nik if Damon didn't like him. Which would – suck, actually. Suzanne was in denial, sure, but she was _aware_ she was in denial of her feelings. Damon was her best friend, and she and Nik were still in the stage where she was pretty sure they had the potential to be great. At least she hoped so.

Their food came startlingly quickly, Suzanne realizing why a moment later when the woman checked Damon out. Using Damon's looks to possibly get free food? Oh _fuck yeah_.


	20. Chapter 20

Klaus was lying in bed, naked except for the sheets covering him from the waist down. After a round of fairly fantastic sex, Suzanne had seemed energized and hopped up and off of the bed, throwing on a pair of sweatpants and a loose t shirt before walking into the kitchen. Klaus could smell the coffee she was brewing and was actually somewhat enjoying the Icelandic music that Suzanne was playing.

He knew of course that she had no idea what the song was about, she just liked the way it sounded. The same had applied to a French song that was apparently the top played song on her iTunes account. Little idiosyncrasies like these made Klaus much fonder than he knew was smart. However, he couldn't help liking nearly everything about Suzanne.

It was a problem. One he knew he would have to face sooner rather than later – she knew about the supernatural and Klaus knew it was an impossibility to keep his status as a vampire from her forever. Though of course he didn't plan on telling her that he was one thousand years old – he figured that might be the sort of thing that deeply disturbed her, especially after she'd once gone on an hour long rant about how the over-sexualization of teenagers on television was disgusting when the actresses portraying the teenagers were often in their late twenties or early thirties.

Yes, their age difference might cause an issue. But he didn't know how he could accurately explain it. Klaus was one thousand years old, that was true. But he was _also_ twenty-nine. He would always feel like he was twenty-nine.

Suzanne's quiet singing made him finally get out of bed. It was somewhat funny to hear her botched version of the Icelandic language, and he snorted as he grabbed his jeans and t shirt off of the floor. He and Suzanne were alone in the house – she'd let him know as Klaus had kicked the door of the bedroom shut that Damon was going out on the town to grab something to eat after lunch, explaining that his stomach was a bottomless pit.

As if arriving on cue due to Klaus's wandering thoughts, he heard the front door open and Damon loudly announce himself with the shout of, "Suze, if you and Nik are having sex in a shared space, stop unless you want me to get an eyeful!"

Suzanne laughed loudly and Klaus could hear the movement of fabric signaling that the two of them were likely tussling. Walking into the kitchen, he immediately saw that Damon had Suzanne in a headlock and was messing up her already sex-mussed hair.

What he realized a moment later, however, was much less entertaining.

Damon smelled like blood. Not the small hint that would alert Klaus to the fact he had scraped an elbow. It was to the degree that he immediately knew that Damon had just finished draining someone of their blood.

Damon was a vampire.

Before he could react, Klaus watched as Suzanne squawked at the treatment Damon was giving her and jabbed him in the side, causing him to let out an involuntarily laugh. Releasing her a second later, Suzanne showed no remorse as she hopped up and mussed up his own hair to the degree that Damon looked outrageous.

Damon was a vampire. And he was Suzanne's best friend. Her vervain tattoo suddenly made perfect sense – she _had_ to know what he was. And she was his friend anyway. There was a brief moment of relief at knowing that Suzanne's tattoo wasn't due to being a hunter or being from some sort of magical family. He'd never sensed any magic around her – Suzanne was an average human; she simply was aware of the supernatural.

Klaus announced his presence with a loud clearing of his throat. Damon and Suaznne whipped their heads to look at him in perfect sync, causing him to let out a laugh. Klaus had been jealous of their relationship before meeting Damon, but the last three days he had spent in the Outer Banks with the two had made him feel much more secure about his own relationship with Suzanne. She and Damon were incredibly close, and he knew that she loved Damon, but it was entirely platonic.

Klaus privately was more jealous of the closeness they shared, having never had a friendship quite like theirs.

"Hey, Nicholas. I'm pretty-ing up your girlfriend at the moment, hope you don't mind."

Klaus didn't correct him on the assumption regarding his name, instead letting out another small laugh at the way Suzanne suddenly looked incredibly embarrassed, shooting Klaus a self-conscious look.

Wanting to remedy her expression immediately, he said back, "Impossible. Suzanne already looks lovely."

To his disappointment, Suzanne didn't blush. Instead she narrowed her eyes and looked back to Damon. They searched each other's expressions for a moment before Damon nodded slightly. Once more turning to face him simultaneously, they spoke in tandem.

"Fine."

It seemed like a bizarre thing to say in response to a compliment, but before Klaus could voice his confusion Suzanne started speaking.

"We've decided to start fining you every time you say something sappy. You're rich and do that a lot, so the money I'm saving for a rainy day is going to quickly increase."

Klaus stared at the two of them, trying to gauge their seriousness, but when he only saw expectant expressions, he let out a resigned sigh.

"You two are utterly mad. You're aware of that, right?"

Damon snorted before saying in a patronizing tone, as if the answer should be obvious, "Of course."

Their penchant for high fives was slowly growing on him.

* * *

Damon was feeling on edge. Or maybe on edge by proxy since Suze was getting riled up. It was subtle, sure, but he knew all her tells and she was feeling majorly antsy. The reason for it was pretty obvious.

Nik had been acting weird for the last day and a half. Not obviously, but his behavior had definitely changed after their first three days in North Carolina. They were only staying for another few hours so Damon figured he might as well address it before he and Suze left for Virginia and Nik went to wherever the hell he wanted.

The thing that was throwing him - and he suspected Suze - off was that the guy's behavior had changed towards _Damon_. It was a little insulting, actually. He'd thought that they were getting along alright and had even started considering the guy as a future drinking buddy. God knew one human friend was _more than enough_ , but if Suze was keeping him around for now Damon knew she would want him to play nice. And it hadn't been hard at all - Nik was able to keep up with the banter he and Suze spoke as a first language, so casually hanging out had been pretty easy.

Damon knew that he hadn't screwed up. He'd been feeding one town over and had been sure to put on the whole 'human act' the whole time they were here, even when he had been _so tempted_ to hurl Suze into the ocean after she'd accidentally-on-purpose spilled soy sauce on his third favorite leather jacket after he made a comment about the woman in the group doing the dishes.

Maybe it was deserved, sure, but she had better be fucking willing to shell out and get him a hell of a birthday present to make up for it.

Anyway, Damon had been his charming self and kept the mocking to a minimum. So Nik suddenly watching him more and acting strangely wary when he and Suze were together was really starting to piss him off. When his best friend was running to the grocery store to stock up on food - and likely going to the liquor store next door for more alcohol - he decided to confront the guy whether he was Suze's boyfriend or not.

"You need to stop acting weird around Suze and I. I'm not trying to steal your girl or whatever. And I mean _technically_ she's been mine longer. So I've got dibs anyway."

Nik's face had turned into an expression that looked like a cross between intrigue and annoyance.

"You have _dibs_ on Suzanne?"

Damon wasn't exactly cowed, so he shrugged and walk to the fridge, grabbing himself and Nik the last two beers. After sliding one down the counter for Nik to grab, he twisted off the cap and took a look sip.

"Seriously, though. I don't know what your problem is. If anything, I should be the one giving you the shovel talk. I meant to earlier, actually. So, you know. If you hurt Suze I'll rip out your spine and beat you with it, yada yada. She's my best friend."

Nik's annoyance had faded and a smirk briefly covered his face before his eyes narrowed and he seemed to be assessing Damon. He had no idea what was on Nik's mind, but after a minute or two of them sitting in silence and sipping their beers, Nik addressed him.

"It's not you, mate. I've been off, but I think I've resolved what was troubling my mind. Cheers?"

Damon nodded, glad that the chick flick moment was over, and tapped his bottle against the other man's.


	21. Chapter 21

Suzanne was squinting down at her phone, occasionally throwing it onto the couch and trying to avoid it before inevitably picking it back up. Finally, she hopped backwards so she was entirely splayed out across the cushions.

She shouldn't feel weird about it. Really, she shouldn't, even though she was making a huge change in her life and it felt kind of _weird_ not to tell Nik about it. Especially when it was a decision that was sort of a huge deal. But – she was Suzanne fucking Sinclair, she didn't need _permission_ from any girlfriend or boyfriend to do things.

The random men in her apartment that were compelled to be packing up her things into boxes were silent, and Suzanne had admittedly been using them occasionally to ramble out loud to for the sake of pretending she was having a conversation and they were affirming her life decisions.

Damon striding into her apartment broke her out of her confused thoughts, and after looking her over for barely a second, he snorted. Walking over to the couch, he picked up her feet before sitting down and letting them fall back into his lap.

"You still haven't told Nik, have you?"

Suzanne tried not to pout, but Damon was supposed to be on _her_ side, not laughing at her avoidance and flaky tendencies.

"No."

Damon sighed in response and relaxed further into the cushions, tapping out a random beat against Suzanne's shins.

"It's up to you. Feel free to dig the grave of your relationship, I'll be sure to toast the crash and burn and laugh at your inability to function like a person."

Suzanne felt a spike of anger - god, he was such an _asshole_ \- but tried to push it down when she admitted that her best friend _did_ have a point.

"I know, okay? But – fuck. I shouldn't need his approval for shit like this, you know?"

Damon hummed in response, something Suzanne had no idea how to interpret, but he kept a fairly even tone when he answered her unspoken questions.

"He'll be more pissed that you didn't tell him until the last minute, though. You two are gross, it's like you have middle school crushes on each other."

Suzanne let out a sigh and sunk further into the couch, not really wanting to answer just yet. A minute or two of silence passed that was only disturbed by the hypnotized guys packing away her stuff and her dogs barking and trying to play with said workers. But when one of the guys took something out of a cabinet below her TV and walked in front of them with it, Damon broke the quiet atmosphere.

With a voice that was equally baffled and completely judgmental, Damon spoke in what was phrased as a question, but was clearly a statement.

"Suze. Please tell me you don't have VCR. I need to hear that you haven't had a VCR _the entire time I've known you_."

Suzanne didn't want to answer him. So instead she grabbed one of the pillows that had been under her head and instead shoved it over her face.

"On a scale from, 'you sometimes make important phone calls without crying' to 'you have a steady job, a picket fence, and 2.5 kids' you are pretty much the worst adult I've met in decades. You're below the scale. You are a toddler who –"

Suzanne finally cut him off smacking him across the face with a pillow and saying in what she knew was an incredibly defensive tone, "All of my fucking Disney movies are VCR tapes. I don't see the point of buying new copies on DVD."

Damon snorted but remained silent. When he spoke again, it was in a voice more serious than he had used in their conversation thus far.

"You have to tell him. _I_ won't - the dude seems like he could hire a fucking assassin - but you have to."

Suzanne groaned childishly, but sat up to face Damon.

"You said he was already weird about us last month in North Carolina, right? Nik is _totally_ going to take this the wrong way or be annoying."

"You don't know that."

Entirely grumpy and knowing that if she waited any longer she'd back out, Suzanne picked up her phone and scrolled down to Nik's contact information. Just before pressing the call button, she narrowed her eyes at Damon and said, "If he breaks up with me right now I fully expect you to be the shoulder I cry on."

Leaning back nonchalantly, Damon shrugged before saying, "As long as you let me change into a cheaper shirt, I'm your man for the job."

When Nik picked up after only two rings, Suzanne felt a surge of nausea. She hadn't cared about someone this much romantically - maybe ever. But -

Fuck it.

" _Hello, love. What are you up to?_ "

"Damon and I are moving in together in a house in Springfield. There's a yard for my dogs and Damon can get away from the weird family drama he's trying to stay out of."

That... might not have been the most graceful way to break the news.

* * *

Damon had to physically cover his mouth with his palm to keep from bursting into laughter. After speaking Suze's face had shifted into the baffled expression that was usually followed by something like 'why the hell did I just do that' although since she was on the phone with Nik she refrained.

" _Hm. Was it a good investment?_ "

Damon was actually a little baffled by the nonchalance in Nik's voice and he could see Suze was as well. Deciding to simply listen in on the conversation, he settled into the couch. Suze, realizing what he intended, shot him an annoyed look but continued the conversation in front of him.

Besides, she probably guessed that if she tried to stand up and walk into out of the apartment for privacy he would pin her to the couch.

"It - yeah, actually. It was. And I'm really excited about it. How... what are your thoughts?"

Damon could hear Nik making a contemplative noise, and remembered suddenly the last serious conversation he'd had with the man. It had seemed like they were on good terms. Damon knew how much Suze liked this guy. To be honest, he was a little worried for her. She wasn't very good at expressing herself and Damon really didn't want this to end badly. He _liked_ Nik. And for him to approve of a guy - obviously not _good enough_ for Suze, but close - was kind of a big deal.

Nik's response, however, made his respect and liking of the guy double.

" _Well I'm concerned for both of your blood pressure since you'll likely kill each other. I hope it works out, though. I have to go, but we can chat later._ "

A wide, relieved smile covered Suze's face and Damon knew that a smirk probably mirrored hers.

"Alright, talk to you soon. Mr. Salvatore and I have to continue packing."

" _...Salvatore?_ "

* * *

 _Hello loves, I know this chapter is a bit shorter than usual, but the following one diverges a bit and to add on the beginning would seem a little awkward. Let me know what you think of characterization, plot, my OC thus far! Happy belated holidays!_


	22. Chapter 22

Klaus listened as Suzanne let out a somewhat annoyed-sounding breath. He didn't exactly know why she would be upset, thus far their conversation had been pleasant, even enjoyable and entertaining.

Klaus had managed to smooth over his faux pas after reacting to the name Salvatore. After asking one of his connections to look into it, he had discovered that Damon was in fact more than likely Stefan's brother. It had been worrying at first, what with the brother of a ripper being Suzanne's closest friend and even living with her, but he'd put his concerns to rest the more he'd thought on it. Though it _did_ make him a bit curious now that he reconsidered Suzanne's nonchalant comments about Damon's 'annoying douche of a little brother'.

It would be fascinating to learn more about Stefan Salvatore. But Suzanne had explained in depth that Damon was trying to separate himself from his brother's life and avoid the 'teen drama' so he would have to be subtle in his approach.

It was a strange coincidence, but to his somewhat-embarrassment and wariness, Klaus found himself trusting her completely. Getting back to their conversation, he couldn't help but let out a snort when his girlfriend – and bloody hell, what a concept _that_ was – revealed the reasoning behind her sudden shift in mood.

" _God, you're a hipster. I should have known with all the necklaces and pretty tattoos."_

Klaus replied instantly, "You can't talk on that front, sweetheart. You have your own ink. And my music taste isn't _hipster_."

Suzanne let out a triumphant laugh, as if he had somehow proved her point – and shit, he did remember her mentioning that hipsters always denied their label – before moving on to her next question. Evidently Suzanne had been bored and come across a list of questions on 'tumbler'. He'd gone along with it and actually found out much more about her than he had previously known.

" _Alright. If you could travel back in time, what year would you visit?_ "

Klaus had to very carefully suppress a snort. He had lived through the last thousand years, and deciding which century he liked best would be difficult in and of itself. Trying to delay so he could come up with an answer he said, "Let me guess, darling, Ancient Rome during the rule of Augustus?"

Suzanne laughed loudly and without reservation. It was fairly ugly, but Klaus found himself appreciating it nonetheless. Based on every interaction and conversation he'd had with both Suzanne and Damon it had been clear that she didn't usually trust others or become attached very easily.

That had been another thing that had made Klaus trust Damon. If he was her closest friend, he must have passed a few hurdles she'd thrown his way.

" _Of course. I'm unashamed of being a nerd. Four years of Latin courses will do that to a person. Augustus seems like a heartthrob._ "

Klaus huffed out a breath, entirely amused. He could admit to himself that he had gotten in too deep. He truly liked Suzanne, and his sentimentality from his years as a human was seemingly rearing its head after she had entered his life. Klaus wanted her. He was _coveting_ her. And though it was still a foreign concept, he found himself incredibly attached, to the degree that Elijah had noticed.

His brother had questioned him a bit after seeing his out-of-character behavior, and his excuses had grown flimsy enough that Elijah had finally guessed that Klaus had been genuine with his offhand remark about spending time with a girl he fancied.

Klaus hadn't given him any further details – his trust in Elijah had been growing slimmer in the past few years. All he had revealed was that indeed was enjoying his time with a human woman.

"I couldn't say for sure. Perhaps Venice in the midst of the Renaissance."

Suzanne hummed at his answer and quickly moved on to the next one.

" _If you could another language for a day what – nah, I already know you're a language genius. Let me find a better one. Oh! Oh my god I can't believe I forget to tell you, for the next week we're calling Damon 'Day-mom'. He told me to eat my fucking vegetables. It's driving him insane._ "

Klaus laughed and decided to harass Damon over text as soon as he was off the phone with Suzanne. He and Damon spoke over text quite frequently, usually sending each other random pictures that often made fun of one another somehow.

" _What was the last thing you searched for on Google?"_

Klaus flicked open another tab on the internet browser, having previously been scrolling through some Gaelic vocabulary he had begun forgetting. When he began typing and the last search came up, he let out a resigned sigh. Bloody hell.

"I searched for the plot summary of Season One of Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

There was a beat of silence on the other end of the line.

" _I was under the impression we had a very specific agreement to watch the first season of a television show of each other's choosing. Am I mistaken?_ "

Klaus began to come up with an answer, but he suddenly heard a thumping sound through the phone and a high pitched shriek.

When Damon began speaking, it wasn't much of a surprise. The muffled background sounds let him know that Suzanne likely had a pillow or palm shoved over her mouth.

" _She's completely playing you. Last week she asked me to summarize Season One of the Sopranos. I didn't know why until now._ "

* * *

Damon wanted to kill someone. Not anyone in particular, but the level of rage and conflicting emotion practically begged for a show of excessive violence. Suze was in the next room over, and with a resigned sigh he decided to talk to her.

God, he was changing. It fucking sucked. Turning on his switch was one thing, yeah, but he had still been bloodthirsty and immoral. Leaning on a human this much? Going to her for comfort instead of murdering an innocent? It –

"You look freaked out. What's wrong?"

… But Suze wasn't just _some human_. So Damon didn't snap or chomp on her like he would have any other person who had interrupted him when there was so many tumultuous thoughts raging in his head. Instead he held up his phone and waved it in the air, gesturing at it and projecting his annoyance.

"Stefan needs my help. I have no idea how Katherine's doppelganger got my phone number, but apparently the vampires I let out of the tomb captured him."

Not speaking immediately, Damon watched as Suze thought it over. Sometimes she practically announced her emotions with her expressions, and right now was one of those times. She seemed angry, concerned, and pissed off. A very typical cycle for her.

"You don't owe him anything. He's your brother, yeah. So you might want to go and help. But… don't feel like it's an obligation. He tried to fucking torture _you_ and lock you up for decades."

Yeah, that was never going to be a thing Suze would let go. Damon was mad. So, so angry at Stefan for getting himself captured and forcing Damon to make this decision. He didn't want Stefan to _die_ , but Christ, how was he supposed to be eager about risking his own life to help out the brother who would gladly see him desiccated. And to make matters even more irritating, Elena had seemed scandalized and judgy when he hadn't immediately joined up with the 'save Stefan' squad.

"I think. Shit. I think I'm going to help."

Suze looked concerned immediately and frowned before saying in a tight voice, "How many vampires are we talking about? Are you going to be okay?"

Damon, of course, decided to lie to her.

"It's only a few. I'll be fine."


	23. Chapter 23

_Hey guys - important note. Alaric isn't really going to be involved with the Mystic Falls group except for his role as Jeremy's mentor, which is obviously going to change how some events play out. Damon didn't stop by the Grill and Alaric never saw him. I figured the position of best friend and drinking buddy was already filled. As always, let me know what you think! xx_

* * *

Suzanne had been laying on the couch, messing around on social media and trying to stay awake so she could see when Damon came in. It was nearing one in the morning, and honestly – she was starting to get a little worried. But he was probably at the Boarding House. Stefan would no doubt need some help after he got himself kidnapped and -

When her doorbell rang, Suzanne winced with annoyance, already hearing Killer starting to wake up in the kitchen. Rushing to the front door before the person rang again, Suzanne pulled open the door quickly. What she saw on the other side was the sort of thing she had nightmares about.

Stefan Salvatore was standing in her doorway, and leaning heavily on him was Damon. He was covered in blood, which wasn't out of the ordinary. This time, however, Suzanne could see that it was his own blood.

"Oh my god. _Oh my_ _god_ what happened?"

Stefan took a step forward and Damon let out a groan, so without bothering to think it through, Suzanne said, "I invite you in. Get him on the couch."

Stefan helped his brother over to the couch in their den, and when Damon was laid out flat, he turned to face Suzanne.

Damon was alive, and his wounds already looked like they were healing, so Suzanne turned to Stefan and said, "We have a cooler down in the basement. Grab three – no, four blood bags."

The second the younger Salvatore was out of sight, the rage that had been building emerged since it had become clear none of his injuries were even close to fatal. It wasn't the screaming, violent sort of anger. No, this made Suzanne's entire body still while she wore a blank face, concealing her thoughts as best she could.

"Suze, it's fine –"

"You had better fucking tell me that one of those vampires randomly got the drop on you. I _really_ need you to have some sort of excuse about why you're more dead than usual when you told me your little rescue mission would be easy."

Stefan walked back in at that moment, and after looking back and forth between Suzanne and Damon, he simply put the blood bags where Damon could reach them and walked into the kitchen, clearly picking up on the tension and staying out of it.

"I may have downplayed the situation."

Suzanne couldn't keep eye contact. Scanning him over one more time and seeing the tears in his clothing that signalled the insane amount of injuries that had already healed, Suzanne clenched her jaw.

"If we talk right now, I'll say something I'll regret. I'm going to bed."

Suzanne turned and started walking up the stairs, ignoring Damon as he shouted after her for her to come back.

When she had securely closed the door to her bedroom, her entire body seemed to tighten. The places on her palms that her clenched fists were digging into would definitely leave a mark, but she was so, so angry.

Damon – _Christ_. He'd lied to her, and not about eating the last of the hummus or something. He had _lied_ and could have died without her knowing. It wasn't fair, she knew that, but a lot of her rage was selfish.

What the fuck was she supposed to do if he died? Damon had carved himself a place in her life. He was her best friend, and the first person she had ever really relied on. He couldn't just _ruin_ everything. Suzanne had been scared enough when they had just started getting close, and it had taken months for her to finally be convinced that he wasn't going anywhere. Even having to imagine –

He couldn't do this to her. Suzanne wanted to punch something or have _some_ kind of outlet for the emotions that were boiling inside of her. She didn't regret their friendship, that was something she would never be able to do. But god, she'd been relaxing at home and lazing about. He could have been staked while she looked through her goddamn News Feed.

Shucking off her jeans and sweater, Suzanne crawled into bed. Stefan could take care of him, after all, the little rescue mission was the reason their couch was probably ruined. She had absolutely no desire to even look at Damon right now.

* * *

Stefan woke up asleep in an admittedly comfortable chair. But even the most comfortable chair couldn't change the fact that his foot was asleep and his neck was aching despite him being a vampire.

Not realizing immediately what was going on and while he was still on edge, Stefan leaped out of the chair, quickly whirling around to see what was going on.

Damon was sitting upright on a bloody couch next to him. All of last night came back – Damon arriving to save him, nearly dying, and Stefan having to drink Elena's –

Actually, he wouldn't think about that just yet. Instead he focused on Damon, who looked pissed off as he scrolled through his phone. Before Stefan could try to start any kind of conversation, the loud footsteps that probably belonged to Suzanne came down the stairs.

When she walked into their line of sight, Stefan saw that she was carrying a small suitcase. He saw Damon open his mouth to speak, but before he could say anything, Suzanne spoke in a flat voice with an entirely blank expression on her face.

"I'm going to stay with Nick for a few days in New York."

Damon stood and actually seemed honest - something that was sort of strange for Stefan to see - when he said in a quiet voice, "Suze, c'mon. Everything is _fine_."

Suzanne's face finally broke into a look of stress and anger.

"Yeah. Everything is fine. But you're a fucking asshole, so I'm leaving."

Obviously reading something in Damon's reaction that Stefan himself couldn't interpret, Suzanne's voice was much softer when she continued, "I'll be back in three days tops. I'm not tearing off any friendship bracelets or anything. But I just need to not stare at evidence of you getting in over your head and lying to my face. Please get rid of the couch while I'm gone. You've got the dogs."

When the front door closed behind the woman, Stefan heard Damon clear his throat. His older brother had a cocky smirk covering his face, but it seems... off. When he spoke in a blithe tone with a slightly rough voice, Stefan realized how deeply affected Damon was. It was completely bizarre to him, and Stefan almost didn't want to believe that Damon was _actually_ friends with the woman. It made it so much harder to still feel hatred for his older brother.

"Come on. Let's get this thing to a dumpster. You owe me one after I saved your ass."


	24. Chapter 24

When Nik arrived at the airport, Suzanne couldn't help the wide grin that immediately took over her face. She wasn't exactly the PDA type, but as soon as he was close enough, she reached towards him and linked their hands together.

Nik fucking Smith had turned her into a sap. It was disgusting. _But_ … his hand was warm and when he squeezed her own hand she internally turned into a puddle of goo. He didn't have to know that though.

With a small, somewhat embarrassed smile, Suzanne looked to the floor before glancing up at Nik and saying, "Thanks for picking me up. I know it's really last notice –"

Nik cut her off with a nonchalant wave and a small smile as he replied, "Don't worry, love. If anything, you'll be bored this weekend, I've got a bit of work to do."

Suzanne was strangely relieved at hearing that actually. She was self-aware enough to realize that her mood was a little erratic right now, and if she was around another person for too long she would probably take it out on Nik, even if he was being wonderful. And. You know. She wasn't going to correct his obsession with the word 'love' _forever_.

"It's alright. I can see if Scotty can do lunch. I really, really missed him lately."

There was a second of silence – not uncomfortable, after all, they were waiting for Suzanne's bag to come around the track, but it was a silence that had Suzanne thinking. She hadn't ever – she hadn't ever _wanted_ to –

"Would you want to meet him? Come to lunch with us, I mean."

Nik nodded along and looked distant for a second. In a weirdly serious tone he murmured, "I've missed my sister as well. I'd like you to meet her. Perhaps sooner than I'd thought."

And alright, that was eerily cryptic, but Suzanne let it go as they began walking towards his car. He hadn't seemed like he'd been putting _off_ Suzanne meeting Bekah or anything, but she'd been able to sense that there had been some issues between the siblings and that Nik hadn't seen her in a while. It was nice to know that Nik wanted to introduce them at all.

The car ride back to his place was relaxed, filled with idle chatter about what they'd been up to lately. Apparently Nik was deep in research-mode, and while he had told Suzanne about previous projects concerning ancient mythology and cultural artifacts, his lips were zipped on his current work since he was a crazy superstitious guy _convinced_ he'd jinx himself.

Suzanne told him about her recent doubts concerning her job – and fuck, could she even really consider herself _employed_ anymore? She showed up to work _maybe_ three times a week while Damon's compulsion kept her on the payroll. It was immoral as hell, yeah, but it had given Suzanne the past few months to get a ton of pleasure reading done as well as begin researching jobs that would fit her degree.

"So, I'm actually really leaning towards trying to do something with books. Vague, I know, shut up – but maybe some editorial work? Or curating of some kind. I don't just want to be a cashier in a bookstore or something, and when I looked it up there are actually some _major_ qualifications to being a librarian."

Nik nodded along with what she was saying and pursed his lips in thought.

"I know a few people in the industry if –"

Suzanne rolled her eyes and cut him off with fond exasperation when she said, "You don't have to step in. Though if you have 'contacts' in the middle of fucking nowhere Virginia, kudos to you."

Nik laughed and turned to quirk his lips up into a smirk when he said, "Ah, yes. Suzanne Sinclair, the self-made woman."

"Ah, Nik Smith, the chivalrous guy stuck in the middle ages."

For some reason that made his expression smooth out and he stared back at the road, but she let it go. Nik didn't know how her mind worked all the time, and the same went the other way around.

* * *

It really was an idle weekend between the two of them. Damon had been texting her, and Suzanne wasn't petty enough – alright, she was _totally petty enough_ , but now wasn't the time when in retrospect he _had_ been tortured and beat up – so she'd responded curtly a few times to let him know she wasn't icing him out.

She and Nik had slow, lazy sex the morning after she'd gotten to his place, too tired to do anything more than languid kissing the first night, and the second night they hadn't gone past grinding on one another before going to bed. But it was… nice. Suzanne was used to people wanting sex from her, and even when she wasn't in the mood sometimes she'd done it because it had always been a fun ego boost to make someone else feel good with her body. But she and Nik didn't really rely on the physical side of their relationship – and holy fuck, she was in a grown up, mature _relationship_ now, what was her life – and holding hands occasionally when they sat at opposite sides of his kitchen table while they were both absorbed in their work made her heart skip sometimes.

There was a word for what she was feeling. It wasn't a word she wanted to acknowledge yet, especially when she didn't know if Nik felt the same way back. But it had wriggled its way into the back of her mind over the last few weeks and had only solidified over the weekend. She was heading back to Springfield in a few hours, but it didn't cause a spark of worry or anything. Suzanne didn't feel an all-encompassing need to be around Nik constantly, they'd done well as quasi-long-distance for the last few months.

She was sitting on the couch next to Nik, both of them watching Blue Planet, and when Nik's phone buzzed he quickly glanced down to type out a quick answer.

"So what _did_ Damon do to piss you off? He's been texting me in an uncharacteristically tense manner. He won't tell me what he did, but I assume it was serious if you're this upset."

Suzanne sighed and didn't meet Nik's eyes, instead playing with her own fingers and tracing the lines on her palm when she answered.

"Yeah. Damon just did something stupid and lied to me about it."

Nik let out a questioning hum, so she continued, "He was really annoyingly blasé and then got the fucking shit beat out of him."

Nik was silent, and when she glanced up at him, he seemed to be debating with himself if his expression was anything to go off of. When he finally spoke, it was in a slow, deliberate voice.

"At least if he's still speaking to me he wasn't staked."

* * *

Klaus had thought about it. Hadn't stopped thinking about it, actually. He'd planned every way he could do it, and this had _not_ been one of them. It seemed right, anyway.

Suzanne hadn't looked away from his face, and her own expression was blank. She finally moved, only to grab his hand. Now staring down at his wrist, she slowly guided his hand until it was behind her. Klaus knew what she was about to do, but it didn't make it sting any less when she pressed his fingers against the section of her vervain tattoo that her tank top didn't cover. The quiet hissing sound that accompanied the burning was incredibly loud in the now-silent room.

Suzanne let go of him, allowing Klaus to draw his fingers away from her skin. Squeezing her eyes shut, he saw her jaw clench. She relaxed a minute later after a few deep breaths.

"You are _such_ an asshole."

"You already knew that, love."


	25. Chapter 25

Damon was prepared for Suze's arrival, what with her having texted him about when her flight was landing, but he wasn't prepared for her good mood when she walked in the door. Louie and Killer of course ran up to her immediately, and instead of simply bending down to pet them Suze dropped her bag onto the floor and sat down cross-legged so she could play with the dogs.

After a few minute of her petting and cooing over Louie and Killer, she looked up at him with a smirk.

"You know when you go on a roller coaster that does a loop-de-loop for the first time? And you're like holy shit this is way better than anything ever and it's like everything else has been held back before that?"

Damon had no goddamn idea where she was going with this, but if she wasn't yelling at him yet, he saw no reason to tick her off.

"Yeah?"

Suze beamed at him, entirely unrepentant when she said, "I had that kind of sex with Nik right before we went to the airport."

Damon cringed, not wanting that mental image, so he changed the subject, hoping it wouldn't entirely ruin her good mood.

"So we're good?"

The smile left her face and a small, thoughtful frown covered her face. Finally, she said, "Let's take the dogs for a walk. We should talk."

Getting the dogs onto their leashes was a pain in the ass, seeing as they both acted like spazzes the second they realized they were going on a walk, but once Damon and Suze made it to the sidewalk, they settled into their usual rhythm.

There was nobody else near them, so Suze seemed to deem it safe to start talking about the supernatural shit going on in their lives.

"Do you get why I was mad at you? I'm still kind of annoyed, but mostly over it."

Damon knew she was probably looking for a specific answer, and he had spent the weekend going over what had happened, so with more seriousness than usual he said, "I lied to you. On purpose."

Suze snorted but didn't seemed upset when she said, "Partially. Damon – I mean, do you get that you could have died and I wouldn't have known? I wouldn't have let you go off alone if you'd told me it was basically a suicide mission."

Damon felt a flash of protective anger when he said, "And what, you would have gone with me? Don't be stupid."

Suze rolled her eyes and responded, "I don't want to be a human Capri-Sun, so no, obviously not. But I probably would have made you talk to the teenagers and drag them into all of this shit."

"They wouldn't have been able to handle it."

Suze stopped walking, so Damon did the same. When he turned to look at her, she had a cold, hard look on her face.

"I don't care about them. I care about you. So. Greater good, and all that."

Damon laughed and said, "And the murdering bad-boy vampire making it out instead of the itty-bitty Mystic Falls kids is 'the greater good'?"

Suze started walking again and laughed in response, and when Damon looked over she had an unapologetic smirk when she said, "You wish you were the ultimate badass. And yeah. You're my priority."

A wave of fondness and warmth took over and he bumped his shoulder against hers before saying, "Love you too, sociopath."

Suze continued walking – having to gently pull along Killer from where she had been staring at a daisy as if it offended her – before she grew quiet.

"If I vomit feelings on you can you act mature?"

Damon felt a spike of worry at the request, but tried to show her that he was serious when he said, "Yes. I'll tone down the 'asshole' for a minute. About Nik?"

Suze nodded and they turned around, starting the walk back to their house. She opened and closed her mouth a few times before she spoke.

"I think I love Nik. And it makes me want to throw myself off a bridge. Not a high one – I don't want to die, but tall enough to make a dramatic statement."

Damon had no idea what to say to that. His own experience with love was pretty fucking awful, but Suze had been supportive every step of the way, even when he had still been infatuated with Katherine.

"Did you say anything to him? How'd it go?"

Suze laughed and sounded condescending, though it was clearly directed at herself when she said, "Of course not. I'm a preteen when it comes to actual feelings. But – I wanted to."

Neither of them spoke as they walked the rest of the way back to the house, and the second they unhooked the dogs' leashes the mongrels ran to the living room, jumping onto the comfiest part of the couch. Christ, they were so fucking spoiled. The dogs were turning Damon into such a pushover.

Damon and Suze walked into the kitchen, and both of them sat down on the stools at the island in the center of the kitchen after Damon had grabbed blood and Suze had grabbed a can of Diet Coke.

Suze waited until he had just started to take a huge gulp – of fucking course – before she said in an entirely nonchalant voice, "Oh, by the way, Nik is a vampire."

Damon spat out the blood and stared down at his ruined thousand-dollar coat for a moment.

His best friend was such a bitch.

* * *

As soon as Rebekah surged out of her coffin she tore into the human who was standing beside it. After the man dropped dead, another one – clearly compelled – walked forward and was drained as well.

When she had gained her bearings enough to look around with a level head, she noticed that Nik was standing on the other side of the room, watching her with an unreadable look on his face.

Rebekah immediately grabbed the dagger that remained in her coffin and sped over to him, stabbing it through his heart.

She took a step back and saw Nik wince as he pulled it out of his chest. Surprisingly, however, he handed it back to her. Even more surprisingly he said, "I deserved that."

Rebekah knew she must be gaping at him. It was just – so, so unlike Nik. He didn't speak and seemed to be waiting for her to talk, and after a moment of thinking she said, "And why did you decide to stop being an arse and bring me out of the bloody coffin you've kept me in for however many years?"

Nik smirked, but it seemed someone hollow when he said, "Eighty years. And is it too unbelievable that I wanted to see my baby sister?"

"Yes."

Rebekah watched as a number of emotions played over his face, and when it smoothed out it looked strangely soothing – causing a spike of panic. Nik was acting immensely out of character. He almost seemed like he had been when they were hu –

That was a line of thought she needed to halt immediately. Suspecting his actual motive, she sneered and said, "And what, you need my help breaking the curse? Acting as your little follower again?"

Nik shrugged but once again caught her off guard when he said, "I haven't found the doppelganger. Elijah has turned against me. It doesn't seem as though I'm any closer than I have been for the last five centuries."

Rebekah didn't know what to think. Something in her broke and though she tried to repress it there was the childish hope that he had wanted to see her. She was furious, ridiculously bloody angry that he had daggered her when she had finally felt happy, but… this was unprecedented.

"Why. Why, Nik?"

His lips twisted into a pensive, thoughtful frown and when he spoke he seemed far more serious than she had remembered seeing him in years – well. She guessed than she had seen in one hundred bloody years, the complete ass.

"I wanted you with me. I'd forgotten what it meant to be with family. Elijah's betrayal cemented that it was an untrustworthy and tenuous connection. But I've seen otherwise as of late."

Rebekah was going to get back at him. She was enraged with him, but at the same time, she was thankful for whatever had caused his changed perspective.

Because… he seemed genuine.

* * *

I GRADUATED! so updates on all my stories will be picking up the pace, don't you fret my loves!


	26. Chapter 26

"I kill people."

"Yeah, for sure."

"Probably tens of thousands of people."

"I hear you, my man."

"So why the _everloving fuck_ do I have to be the shoulder angel in this situation?"

Suzanne glared at Damon, fed up with the fact that he was being a complete fucking _buzzkill_. Alright, so Suzanne didn't always make the best decisions. But she was physically a year older than him and closer to 30 than 20 and that meant _oh holy shit she was getting old Jesus Christ_ that she could make her own decisions.

Plus, she was pretty sure that Damon was being all pout-y and grumpy since she'd purposely ruined his outfit with her whole Nick-is-undead thing. To be honest, Suzanne was less upset with Nick for not telling her immediately than she was upset with herself and Damon being idiotic dumbasses who didn't realize beforehand.

"Damon. Day. Mom. This is gonna be great."

Damon snorted loudly enough and rolled his eyes to a degree that she was concerned with his ability to control his features before he said, "You're going to break your neck, and I'm probably going to laugh."

Suzanne let out her own derogatory sound before she replied blandly, "Yeah, but if the whole vampirism didn't kick in you'd totally mourn for me and everything."

Out of the corner of her eye, Suzanne saw Damon flinch. Her throwaway comment had clearly hit too close to home. Suzanne would never tell Damon this, but she worried for him sometimes. He didn't have very many deep connections – herself excluded, obviously – that wholeheartedly supported him. So…

Suzanne had asked for a little bit of Damon's blood. Of course he'd huffed and puffed and shit, but he'd wound up giving her something close to two pints. And Suzanne had been taking a small sip every morning alongside her coffee while pretending it was rusty-tasting vodka.

Suzanne was not by _any_ means a particularly good person. But she was pragmatic with the people she loved. And- well. Becoming a vampire had kind of been on her list of things to do ever since she met Damon. Living forever wasn't the crazy angst-ridden decision all forms of media made it out to be – fuck Edward Cullen - living forever sounded goddamn awesome. She'd never wanted kids, and the only person she'd ever really clicked with would _also_ be around forever.

If she and Nick broke up, Suzanne was honest enough with herself to know she'd be devastated. But hey, reunion sex 100 years later? Not a prospect that sounded too bad.

"Anyway. Can we at least establish that this is _the best idea ever_? I mean yeah, my leg will probably detach, but my obituary would be badass. If I squish, make sure it's a closed casket funeral, yeah?"

Damon stared at her for a minute with a dumbfounded expression.

"I just… why the fuck do I talk to you?"

* * *

Rebekah watched as the glass and plastic rectangle began vibrating for the ninth time in the last hour. Nik had already tried to give her the summary of its capabilities as an instant telegram, and to see the slight wince on his face as he glanced at it each time it went off clearly and he touched it indicated that there was something going on.

"Bloody hell, just look at the message."

Nik looked oddly apprehensive as he picked up the device and tapped on the pane of glass for a few moments before lifting it up beside his ear. Rebekah could hear a dial tone for a handful of seconds before there was suddenly a click and a female voice began babbling.

" _Alright, I'm super fucking pumped so I'm putting off the silent treatment or passive aggressiveness I was planning on – I hadn't decided yet – for you being an asshole and leaving on your read receipts while ignoring me. I went bungee jumping and it was fucking amazing!_ "

Rebekah wrinkled her nose, put off by the utterly crass language, but found herself intrigued by the tense expression that now covered Nik's face.

"And I can assume you survived?"

The woman snorted and responded immediately in a blasé tone that Nik would normally be furious for someone using it with him, and Rebekah made sure to take extra care to focus on the unorthodox conversation.

" _You shouldn't assume. I would totally haunt your after Damon. Is that a thing? Are ghosts real?_ "

Nik let out a fond snort that once more grabbed Rebekah's attention. Nik's affection was not something easily gained, and the nameless woman on the other end of the telephone seemed to have done the nearly-impossible.

"They're more like spirits, actually."

" _Huh. What are the chances that my childhood pet cat is a ghost?_ "

Nik let out an exasperated groan and seemed dismayed when he answered, "Bloody hell, Suzanne."

Instead of growing upset, the woman – Suzanne – blithely replied, " _Oh, I told D about your whole 'Night of the Living Dead' situation and he spilled blood all over his favorite leather jacket. So if you have a few thousand dollars to spare to buy him a new one, it would be much appreciated._ "

For a moment Rebekah forgot about the changing value of money Nik had briefly touched upon, and horrid fascination overcame her at the notion of Nik's companion casually requesting such a sum of money from him. But when he laughed lightly – _laughed_ – her attentions shifted once more back to the conversation she was overhearing. Of course he could have left the room to maintain a false sense of privacy, but they both knew Rebekah still would have heard the words anyway.

"And he didn't murder you?"

 _"Nah. You'd avenge me though, right?"_

"Of course, darling."

" _Got it. Alright, I've got to go, love you."_

"You too."

The phone rang out a dial tone, and Rebekah saw the shocked and disbelieving expression on her older brother's face. Evidently he hadn't expected some part of their goodbye. However, much more important things had arisen that she wished to focus on.

"You have a lover."

Nik nodded, still looking absentminded, so Rebekah decided to take advantage of his perplexed state of mind.

"She has moxy."

Nik's attention sharpened as he focused back on her, and his smirk was bordering on wicked.

"That she does."

A sick, sour feeling bloomed in Rebekah's gut, one that stemmed from malice and jealousy. It wasn't _fair_. Of course quite a bit had to have changed in the last few decades – recalling her absence from that time sparked a new surge of subdued resentment.

"And what happened to _forever and always_. Your little caveat that has always torn us from any outside attachments?"

Nik looked abashed and wary as he met Rebekah's gaze, clearly expecting some kind of retaliation.

"I believe our agreement could perhaps be… loosened."

* * *

Damon heard an ungodly screech erupt from Suzanne's bedroom before the thumping sound of her rolling off the bed followed. The dogs bounded up the stairs after him as he headed towards her slightly cracked open door. Though he had been planning on knocking to give her some illusion of privacy, Killer and Louie pushed past him and immediately began climbing on top of her prone form where she was splayed out face-down on the carpet.

Damon didn't have to ask what was going on before Suzanne let out a melodramatic, dismayed moan.

"I told Nik I love him. On the _fucking phone._ "

Not needing to hear anymore, Damon did an about-face and headed towards the kitchen, where he hoped they had remembered to restock their stash of liquor.

* * *

 _I cannot tell you how sorry I am about the wait - I moved to NYC and have a real-person job now. I'll try to get back to updating all of my stories when I can! xx thank you my lovelies for sticking around!_


	27. Chapter 27

Damon had to stop suddenly when he realized after a few steps that Suze wasn't walking next to him anymore. With an exasperated, not-even-the-littlest-bit-fond sigh he turned around to see why she would suddenly decide making their way to their house wasn't the best course of action.

She was standing on the sidewalk, staring at an antique chair that had been put near the trash at the end of a driveway, and looking weirdly emotional. Taking in a deep breath, Damon could smell that she wasn't on her period.

And holy shit, what a discussion _that_ had been when he told her he was able to tell. He'd taken a lamp to the head. She had insisted that it was necessary collateral for his _honest statement._

Walking back towards Suze, Damon tried his best to seem genuine when he said "Alright, what the fuck?"

Suze immediately punched his arm before replying in an annoyed voice, "Shut up, dickhead."

Another beat of silence followed before she finally turned away from the goddamn _chair_ and said, "I was just thinking - when I was a kid I thought shit like this was awesome, and I could fill my apartment or house in a big city with old cool things I found. But… bedbugs. Oh Christ, _bedbugs_. My roommate in college had them and I had to throw out half of what I owned. But look at this chair. It's _perfect_."

Damon did not know how to respond.

"…I'm sorry?"

Once again, Suze smacked his shoulder before snorting and continuing to walk down the sidewalk next to him.

"I've been weirdly nostalgic lately about what I thought I'd do with my life versus what I'm actually doing. I think it's because of Nik? Obviously vampires invading my personal life wasn't foreseen, but I kind of thought I'd be more professionally successful."

"Life's a bitch."

"So is death, apparently."

Damon laughed at that, finally turning to face her as Suze ungracefully jammed her key into their front door.

"Speaking of death and your boy toy - have you talked to Nik after the dramatic reveal that prompted you to drink half a bottle of vodka and cry about the existence of toxoplasmosis in a fourth of Americans?"

Suze scrunched her nose, not answering until she had plopped herself on the floor and was playing with the dogs.

"Kind of? I mean, I pretended I didn't say it and we talked about his sister and me possibly meeting her, but then when we were hanging up and he said the three despicable words and I automatically responded. An instinct, if you will."

Damon looked up from where he'd been looking in the fridge for the leftover stir fry he was hoping he'd saved and responded in a bland tone, "So not because you love him or anything?"

Suze very clearly didn't want to elaborate, but finally she buried her face in Louie's fur - to his absolute delight - and groaned out, "Oh my god fuck off I love him. At least he isn't a repeat person. Asshole."

* * *

Klaus knew he was being awkward. Even when he had daggered his siblings in the past there had been an unspoken rule of sorts that they would resume their normal behavior around one another. Sure, Kol had attempted to kill him a time or two, but it was to be expected from the baby brother of the family.

Seeing as he was currently in a coffin, Kol was unable to contribute to Klaus's assessment.

But Bekah having overheard his conversation with Suzanne was the opposite of ideal. His overly romantic little sister had not stopped badgering him about her - when they'd met, what she was like, if she knew about the supernatural, if she knew about his own complicated situation about what he was, and so on.

It was irritating to say the least. Especially because the first few days after Suzanne had said she loved him she had been incredibly evasive. The woman was a bit like a spooked animal at times; if he had confronted her immediately after Klaus knew without a doubt that she would bolt. So he gave her time in order for them to relax into their usual cadence before he'd decided to respond to her statement.

After she had responded to his confession of love, she had easily repeated back to him that she loved him. Of course he had heard her mortified squeak before she hung up, but he considered it a success having just made his own feelings clear. Suzanne would need time - he wouldn't have thought otherwise after being with her so often and hearing in her hushed, vulnerable whispers in bed that she didn't understand love.

Just as Klaus was thinking over their relationship - and bloody hell, calling her a _girlfriend_ when he had already resigned himself to the fact she was so much more than that was bizarre - his phone went off.

Bekah was in the room and her head immediately focused in on the device that she still saw as novel, so Klaus picked it up before she could grab it for herself.

A single text message had come through from Damon with a picture attached.

 _Your babe is looking unrecognizable_

In the photograph Suzanne was standing at the island in their kitchen, eating a bowl of Frosted Flakes and glaring at the camera with her right middle finger in the air while the other loosely gripped a spoon. Of course, the black lace and silk evening gown she was wearing matched with an elaborate hairstyle made the image far more interesting.

To his dismay, a moment later Bekah was peering over his shoulder at the picture of Suzanne.

"She's cute. Well done."

* * *

Alright. Suzanne knew about the whole 'wow, our ancestors founded a great colony, oh wow, who cares about the original inhabitants' thing. But Damon joining the Founders' council? Admittedly a very weird thing she tried to reconcile with the image of her best friend laying on the couch last weekend with Cheetoh-dusted fingers and blood surging up through a Mickey Mouse themed curly straw.

Regardless though, Suzanne had agreed to act as his date for a bizarre gathering that was literally labelled as "Miss Mystic Falls". As if a fucking beauty pageant was exactly what all self conscious teenagers needed to drive themselves to win. Suzanne had been on the phone with Caroline ten times in the last two weeks to reassure her that she obviously was going to win.

Honestly? Suzanne hoped she did. After hearing all about Caroline's qualifications and Elena's lack thereof, she knew she would be fucking pissed if the Katherine clone won. Yeah, pity got you so far. Suzanne could have written about Scotty's cancer in her college essays if she wanted to - but she didn't, because that shit was devastating and not fair to harp on about to strangers.

Either way, she'd finished off her leftover Pinot Grigio the night before, so the whole free-food-and-booze thing was pretty much the safety pin holding her together.

Because - god, there were so, so many rich people. Suzanne had always been good at blending in when she had to - years of being a waitress meant that her charismatic skills were phenomenal - but dealing with hoards of people who didn't know her and therefor knew she wasn't in their household income bracket? That was a little bit embarrassing.

She was banging ONE vampire millionaire, who she had been texting all night. As if she could or would _ever_ actually attempt a relationship with Damon. _Repulsive._

However, the night soon became very, very interesting a few hours later -

Okay. Interesting might be a callous term, since the excitement was around Stefan apparently going crazy and binging on human blood. Suzanne got it - realistically, on nights that she wasn't drinking sometimes she craved alcohol. She didn't drink whenever she wanted to and was doing pretty well so she wouldn't call herself an addict, but Suzanne had a friend in college who had to take a year off after going to rehab for cocaine.

Maybe a blood addiction was similar?

Either way, Suzanne obviously became far more invested in the evening when danger, intrigue, and bloodshed entered the equation.

When she actually focused back on the 'main event' and saw Caroline striding down the stairs like a goddamn _bombshell_ Suzanne might have cheered loudly enough to be embarrassing. However, even as the rich people around her looked at her with thinly veiled judgement, Caroline turned her head until she focused on Suzanne and beamed back at her.

Suzanne had come to really like the girl. She was hilarious and had a similar sense of humor. So of course Suzanne would cheer for her, in case there was a clap-o-meter somewhere.

When Copy-Kat walked down the stairs, it got very awkward.

Stefan wasn't at the bottom of the stairs, probably due to his whole eating humans tonight thing, and Damon started to step forward. In a low tone of voice Suzanne spoke to him sweetly.

"If you fucking abandon me to dance with your brother's girlfriend I will rip your dick off like wet paper."

The human quarterback swooped in, and Damon shuddered in what Suzanne could only hope was a reaction to her intimidation.

* * *

 _Hi, my loves! I'm very, very sorry for the delay in updates - I have the storyline for this fic outlined through the end of season three - but I've moved to NYC and have a full time job and party with my friends on weekends (shocking, I know)_

 _I will do my best to update at a more regulated pace, I'm sorry for the massive gap between updates! Please let me know what you think of the latest chapter! Reviews are always lovely, and honestly the questions about updates prompted me to finally bang this chapter out 3_


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